Christmas plans for DC

[pinkgreenblue11]

It's my ex's turn to have DC Xmas Eve this year. They'll come back to me at 1pm on Xmas Day.

Me and my ex live 5 minutes from each other. We don't get on (at all). Ex has just told me that he's taking the DC to stay with his partners family this year for the first time, just over an hour away, and is expecting me to drive to collect them at 1pm.

What would you respond to this?

"I will pick them up at 1pm from yours as previously agreed".

Id be rather nonplussed tbh. XDH and I do get on, and this isn't something he'd ever consider asking me to do (nor would I ask him).

Provided you are ok with them going, I'd say something along the lines of, "It's fine for them to go to X's on Christmas Eve, but it's your responsibility to bring them back to me at the agreed time".

Or, if it's something you can agree to, is there a quid pro quo arrangement you can suggest.

I have no problem with them going to his partners family (she's lovely), but if I say to him that he must make sure he's back in our town for me to collect at 1pm he will say no and tell me he's keeping them for Xmas Day too!

I'd do it as it's Christmas and I would be scared he wouldn't bring them back. Then I would address his controlling bullshit with the utmost ruthlessness after Christmas.

If he's going to refuse to bring them back then I wouldn't let them go in the first place!

I'd do it to ensure I'd get my children on Xmas day but I'm terrible for standing up to my exH and his game playing. Thermos with hot chocolate in, Xmas music in the car, Xmas light bingo with a little lucky dip box with small gifts in to make the journey fun.
You shouldn't have to do it but if it's going to ease your mind that he won't bring them back, I'd grit my teeth and get on with it

@justchecking1

If he's going to refuse to bring them back then I wouldn't let them go in the first place!

Courts don't look too kindly on withholding contact just in case their other parent might do something but no, your honour it didn't actually happen.

As much as it would gall me and annoy me I'd do it.. for the kids sake, certainly not his. When my kids were little I used to let my ex stay overnight on Christmas Eve because I knew that it would be great for them. It was hard going but worth it for them

I have plans with my other DC (not my ex's) and family on Xmas day which wouldn't really be able to happen if I need to drive a total of 2.5 hours round trip to collect my other DC's

I think I'm just extra annoyed about this as my ex dictates EVERYTHING to do with the DC and this is just another thing added to the list

Do you have a contact order?

@Augustbreeze No unfortunately not!

"Courts don't look too kindly on withholding contact just in case their other parent might do something but no, your honour it didn't actually happen. "

Doesn't it work both ways though ? If he doesn't bring them back for christmas, can the OP go to court (and warn the ex that she will in advance) ?