Happier after split

[FreesiaFairy]

I have a 6 month old baby and his dad and I have broken up. He is seeing him regularly. I feel upset at times (very upset at the beginning) and sometimes lonely. But a lot of the time I feel pretty happy and like it's a relief not having to deal with the rows / worry about relationship etc! I was the one that asked him to leave as I couldn't cope with the stress of or relationship on top of looking after our baby.

I guess I just wonder if anyone had the same thing - being surprisingly happy one their own? I suppose it makes sense as the relationship was very stressful, hence why it ended, but I'm surprised at how happy I feel..

@FreesiaFairy yeah we deffo do! I've always done that so this will be totally out of the blue now .. yeah I know what you mean I sit here thinking about it all the time. The perfect picture in my head, I feel like I want to shake him to wake up! But like you said in reality it just ends up being a disaster and you feel worse for staying in it. I've always felt like I care a lot more about the relationship than he ever has tbh and that really annoys me and gets to me and I wish it didn't. Hard to let it go in my head x

@RainbowL2020 it's not nice when you feel like things have become one sided. Do you think you still love him maybe? What are the main reasons for not wanting to be with him? It does sound like you've definitely made up your mind though! Maybe chatting to your parents / a friend about it might help as they have observed things from the outside x

@FreesiaFairy yeah I do still love him so it's really hard.. I used to think that's all you need but that's not true, you need so much more for a healthy relationship. I just feel that he can be really selfish at times and doesn't put the same effort into the relationship as me and my needs are always last on the list where as I've always put him before myself foolishly. I know he loves our DS to bits but I don't want that to be the only reason we're together and when I've challenged him about us as a couple he doesn't seem that bothered to fight for it either so I feel like I've just give up trying too. Yeah my best friend has been a life saver bless her x

Yeh that's true, it's easier in the beginning but when sh** gets real you need more to make it work. It might be worth making a note of how you're feeling each day / any arguements etc before you fully separate, as it's so easy to regret it and wonder if you've made the right decision. You can end up just remembering the good times x

@FreesiaFairy yeah that's a really good idea because I feel like that right now already but I know it's just me living in the past and wanting everything to be right when it's just not. Still got a while to go yet though so I'm sure I'll know for certain by then and be ready for it I hope x