just found out my ex's girlfriend has gone into labour... didn't even know she was pregnant!

[juicychops]

and i cant stop feeling so sad for my ds.

His dad hasn't seen him for over a year and a half despite him living 5 mins away. Now he is having another child, it feels like he has dumped my ds all over again.

feel angry that he is allowed to have another child when he treated my ds so terribly. and i feel so sad for ds cos when he's older he will want to know why he was dumped and his half bro/sis wasn't (unless they end up being dumped too which is quite likely)

feel this overwhelming need to protect my ds and just take him away from all this. I dont want to ever think of him having a bro or sis. i dont want him to have anything to do with his looser dad (until he's old enough to decide he wants to)

I feel so rubbish

[Dropdeadfred]

Thats so sad...sorry I can't add any advice, but with a mum as caring as you obviously are your ds will be okay.

[MarsLady]

[curlywurlycremeegg]

juicy for your DS, for what it's worth my nephews dad did this to him, then again to that child and repeated it 5 times my nephew used to idolise his dad but my SIL caught him on the phone to his dad one day calling him ever name under the sun as he had twigged what a complete waster this bloke was

[juicychops]

Il never slag ds's dad off to him, but i will never say anything nice about him as that would be a lie. hopefully when ds is older (he's only 2.9 now) he will work out for himself what a looser his dad is and that he was better off not knowing him

i really hate him for everything he has put my ds through and all the hurt it will cause him in the future.
and i feel sorry for his girlfriend and their baby as they will end up just like me and ds for sure.

[almostmidnight]

Hi my soon to be ex dh had an affair and this other woman is pregnant too. I hate thinking my dds are going to have a half brother or sister next February especially when ex and I had decided we weren't having anymore children, he was supposed to be getting the snip too. Try to just focus on having a wonderful life with you and ds. My husband left at the end of June and after getting the shingles I decided not to stress out anymore. I do worry sometimes I will hit a high and then have to come tumbling down again but I hope not. Am looking forward to going to see my first band play in five years next month, just having things to look forward to helps.

[juicychops]

Thanks almostmidnight.

i keep thinking do i tell him when he's old enough to understand what a bro or sis is that he has one? or do i say nothing until he's old enough to decide whether or not he wants to know his dad?

these last couple of days i just keep hugging and kissing him thinking what a poor little innocent thing he is in this cruel world

[SofiaAmes]

My dh has 3 children from previous relationships. His relationship with them has deteriorated over the years (mostly due to the mothers) so that he rarely sees them now. On top of that we moved to the usa 2 years ago, so there is physcial distance betwen us all. Our two childrne (5 and 7) have known their 3 half siblings all their life, but really don't ever think about them or ask about them. In fact the other day, I made a comment about dd's sister and she had completely forgetten that she had one (or two even). Llike you, I hate the idea that my kids have half siblings that they don't have a healthy relationship with. But from my experience so far, it doesn't seem to affect them in the least. It's really just a non-event in their lives. It might be helpful, if you can manage it to move a little further away so that there are no accidental meetings and so that they don't end up at the same schools. Good luck.

[juicychops]

i didn't even think about schools! what if their kid ends up in my ds's nursery!

i hate this situation so so so much. Just when i think im getting over everything and we're moving on, this happens and messes it all up.

i know i can easily try and just not think about it at all, but its always going to be there

[macdoodle]

ugh same here - struggling with H exOW having his baby in July - live in same town my baby due Dec ....my DD is 6 not told her yet wish I never had to .....a whole bloody can of worms - H cannot see future implications thinks DD will be "fine" I think she will be devastated - in her mind you have babies with someone you love when you are married so how do you explain this to her......for this I really truly hate him....and TBh her too she showed such disregard for my DD when she had the affair and continued when she got pregnant on purpose thinking she would then get what she wanted with no thought for any children involved hers included

[allgonebellyup]

macdoodle- my ex is the same, and his gf. she got pregnant on purpose to trap him, with no thought for my children. we had only been split for 3 months.

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

He could well turn ut to be the lucky ojne your ds..... MIL is the only one of 10 not sumped (one shares the same Mum, all the toehrs are different aftehrs) and she has to absically bankroll the tosser now, he does nowt fro her but he's always scrounging off her and putting her down.

well rid!

[NAB3]

I wouldn't tell your son is has a sibling yet as he is too young to know. I would get your ex on the phone and find out if he is ever going to start bothering with his first child and also sort out maintainance if he doesn't pay already.

[juicychops]

I applied for csa a year ago and by the end of next week i should finally have something. He paid the first lot in july, but stopped paying now he has a deduction from earnings order on his wages.

But he hasn't seen ds for over a year and a half. and after the way he treated him for the time he did know him, i definately dont want him getting back in touch with him ever ever again.

He just shouldn't be allowed to have another kid the way he has treated my ds

[NAB3]

Nothing you can do to stop him breeding