CMS have I done the right thing?

[HPmummy19]

I have a 15 month son that my exP has never provided for, even throughout pregnancy, he left when I was pregnant claiming to not want to be a dad. Fast forward to now still no sign of him, but he tells everyone else he wants to be a dad but I won't let him... (lies), anyway, I've done it all on my own and I have now decided it's time to go through CMS, of course my ExP has gone up the wall and is livid, his family are trying to convince me to drop the claim and say he will transfer money to me monthly himself as long as I drop the claim. I've explained it's no different to him setting up a direct debit, but I'd rather stay through CMS as a safety net for me and my son. They are trying to guilt trip me into dropping this claim.
My brother said as well "why have you done it now, you're only gonna make him think you need him" which has really got to me, as he is right and my exP probably will get some kick over thinking I need his help. I just thought my son deserved the extra contribution in his life as I can't do this on my own forever? I earn a mediocre wage and nursery fees are expensive. I don't know what I'm getting at here, I suppose I just want reassurance that I've done the right thing 😔

IMO go through CMS. A verbal agreement between you 2 that he says he'll pay x amount a month isn't legally binding. CMS is, of you need to take him court.

My dcs fathers have nothing to do with the dcs, so I never went for child maintenance, but it's a choice.

He's is probably shitting himself so wants to other people to put pressure on you not to continue with the claim.

You both made the child, you're both responsible.

Dont pander to other people's opinions, do what is right for your child.

He should pay for his child. It is better if you have no contact with him and his family at all.

If he wants contact i would ask that he organise this through a contact centre until they know each other.

You don't NEED him. He has a duty to his child.

You have already shown you don't need him. Stick with the CMS. Is gives you peace of mind. He can still pay you directly.

This isn't for you. It is for your son.

Stop engaging with everyone/anyone regarding your child's CMS. This is nobody's business but yours and your Ex's. Do not explain yourself, do not compromise, do not come to a private unenforceable payment. Pursue CMS through the relevant agencies for your child's sake.

Your Ex has proven he will never pay willingly or freely, so you must let CMS do this for your child.

Good luck 🌺

@IEat @chickenyhead @unicornsarereal72 @BlueThistles thank you so much for your comments, I already feel loads better with your reassurance! So thank you.
My exP family are still in my sons life, they have wanted to stay involved and be grandparents to my son despite their son disowning my LO, so I would never stop my son's family from being in his life. But it does become a bit difficult especially in these circumstances when they clearly are taking my exP/their son's "side". I have politely asked them to not get involved and told them to tell my exP to contact me himself if he has any questions regarding CMS or to take it up with CMS directly (he has blocked all contact with me) I just don't want it to get between me and my LO's other side of the family, I want their relationship to be strictly about them and my son, not my horrible exP who tries to ruin everything! Xxx

Make them firmly aware, that your child should be supported by both parents. They know this OP, and for them to believe otherwise would counter my trust in them and I could not be sure that they have the child's best interests at their heart, particularly above their Sons woeful excuses of avoiding his responsibilities.

Please be careful OP 🌺

Well it seems that you are doing all you can to put your son first.

They now have a choice to make themselves as to whether they can do that.

Stick to your guns, you're doing great xxx

You have done the right thing. If your ex has blocked contact with you it leaves you little alternative than to go through CMS. Frankly, it’s easier dealing with cms than it is with a difficult ex.