Please can someone put my mind at ease!

[november90]

You've probably seen me repeating the same story a hundred times on this forum before... same old boring story! But I just need some help.
Quick background... 2 DS ages 3 years and 5 months. husband left me at 24 weeks pregnant. I've spoke to woman's aid and they agree his behaviour has been extremely emotionally and finically abusive and controlling since he left me. He sees DS1 2 nights a week but not DS2 as he's EB. He's threatened childcare at me multiple times... even threatened to take ds1 off me permanent when I asked for my maiden name to be added tk his! Anyway he's had 3 jobs over the past few months. He is now working on a school. DS1 sleeps 2 week nights and visits Sunday day. Ex now saying he wants Ds1 Sunday night too. It makes no sense as he couldn't drop him off Monday morning as he'd be working... it's have to be his mum. I don't see how this would be if it my son. He has already forfitted his week days with him due to his new job when he previously had them off in his old place. I am a Suso I of the threats, I'm sick of him expecting our sons to be sleeping somewhere different every couple of nights!
I'm not agreeing to it. But just to put my mind at ease... how likely do you think if he took me to court would get this third night when he works on the Monday morning?

Hello, from my experience the courts are random and It will all depend on the judge on the day But they are more likely to side with the mothers. However before it gets to court there are many many discussions, mediations, solicitors contact time be had where the idea is both parties come to an agreement. Usually one party will give in because it’s so long, drawn out, boring, stressful and hugely expensive. Therefore if you are adamant he shouldn’t have your son for the Sunday night then just stick to that. He may only be doing it to reduce his child maintenance he pays as they work it out dependent on number of nights, rather then days. The whole system is utterly flawed if you ask me.
Hope that helps x

Thanks for the reply!
I will stick to my guns. I feel so strongly about this! I haven't slept a wink last night with worry :(

Yes stick to your guns as you have your reasons and explain it to him. Maybe also Point out that transitions are hard for children So the less there are then the better, especially as she would be going into a school environment. Maybe offer him a saturday evening instead (he probably won’t want this anyway!) and from my experience people often use the words ‘I’ll take this through the courts’ very flippantly and as a threat when the reality is very few cases go through the courts because of the time and expense of it. It would take around a year plus the expenses for solicitor and court fees would exceed £3000 so in most cases people don’t see through their threat. Good luck. Please don’t loose any more sleep over it x