Tips for coping with burnout?

[firsttimemumma5]

Hi there! Wanted to see if any single parents had any tips.

My daughter is nearly 9 months old and has been getting very whiny/tantrumy recently (she basically wants to be glued to me all the time and constantly entertained, which can be quite frustrating). Some days we get by absolutely fine (on days when she naps well and I get a break), but recently I’ve been really struggling and I just don’t know how to enjoy myself whilst keeping her calm and happy. I find myself losing my temper a lot and having to step out the room and leave her so I can calm down, except when I return, she’s normally screaming hysterically which just makes me lose my calm all over again. I feel terrible when I lose my temper, but taking a break isn’t really an option for me - how else can I cope with feeling so exhausted?

Her dad comes every other weekend and she is such an angel for him, which is great, but makes me feel rubbish when I get the brunt of her screaming for the rest of the time (if only babies understood how much primary caregivers do for them!!) and I’m trying hard not to feel resentful of him for having such an easy job, or cross at her for only being good for other people. I know she can’t help it, and I know that it’s also because she is most comfortable with me, but I just want some tips on how to cope with finding it so stressful at the moment. Am I doing something wrong if she's grumpy with me so much?

I’ve been a single parent since she was born (her dad doesn’t live with us & has only ever seen her every other weekend) and I’m just exhausted. My parents are amazing and do help a lot, but they struggle with health issues so can’t take her for long periods (she’s also still breastfed and won’t take bottles, although she does have 3 meals a day!). I just feel like I'm failing at being a mum because I often feel so unhappy, and I worry that my temper/low mood will affect my daughter.

How do other single parents cope?? Thank you!xx

I don’t have the answer sadly, I have 4 and I’m on my own. Ex doesn’t see them at all (no family help) ages 9-8-6-3 , hopefully it will get easier for you once she’s is in nursery etc? I know what you mean about them being good for someone else, mine are exactly the same! Kids are always worse with their mums (sadly) but it’s cos they are most comfortable with it!

I wish I had an answer.My 8th month old has driven me to tears yet again today..constantly wanting my attention.has stopped napping in the day.wakes up twice at night screaming screaming screaming..am completely and utterly burnt out.Have to also deal with older 6 year old who has Asd and getting excluded from school every week.Dads not involved in their life.No family here as am from abroad.
Even when am sick I still have to tend to them all by myself..No one wants us as support bubble due to my Older sons violent behavior(due to autism)
Sorry am not of any help but just wanted to let u know I feel your pain..Lets hope it will get better with time.We can only hope.

You have to be kind to yourself by lowering your standards. Give yourself a couple of days where you ignore the daily grind. It makes your head a bit more free and by the end of your allocated 'rest' you end up tidying up what you'd ignored before you realise you are doing it.

ruthet

I haven't properly looked at your links but that sounds amazing. If you are campaigning to put all the crap parents in one big cage to rot then I'll donate to that too.

I'm so glad I came across your post i feel exactly the same. My babies dad is nowhere to be seen and my family are all in walking distance and get no help from them. I'm exhausted and when I say this they just say I need to go to the docs for pills. Every day I just think get to 7pm and I've got through another day. Its not what I imagined it would be and the lack of support is devastating add a pandemic in the mix and it's a real test of patience. I wish I knew the answer on how to cope better