someone please tell me the daddy pick up times will get easier...

[Tottie32]

dd 4 has always cried for last 2 years when ex picks her up.

she has just gone sobbing her eyes out saying but what if i ahve to stay there....

MY HEART BREAKS EVERYTIME and i so wish i could make it easier for her

please any advice????

its difficult when they are so young. i was in a similar situation. i found a few things made it easier for my dd, lots of reassurance from you that of course she is coming back, the other thing i got the dad to do is to but a few extra special toys that would stay at his house, so when it came to them seeing dad again they were also excited to go and play with those toys at dad's. it doesn't work for every child, but its worth a try.

I dont have the answer, as I have had similar experiences to you with my dd 5.

The only thing i console myself with is that maybe the point of separation, ie the goodbye, is prob the worst.

Is she ok when she is there? Do you have any idea?

Does she feel ok doing so and does she talk to you about her time away from you?

thanks for your replies

i do think that she has a good time when she is there, ex is on call for his job, and refuses to book off call when she is there, so she gets left with whoever there with at the time, which must be unsettling for her, i have talked to him but he doesnt see it as a problem, and i have tried to take it further ie make something permanent that his time with her should be that and she shouldnt be left with other people, but i cant do it unfortuantely.. it is up to him what he does when she is with him

She does have stuff there to play with- i think, but he is a very tidy person and would not like toys out etc, [wired]

I just wish i could make it ok for her,

another thing that doesnt help is that i talk about him and his new wife very pleasantly to dd {even though it kills me} but i know that he doesnt talk about me, he says when dd mentions me he changes subject as he doent want her to become upset. but to me that is silly dd should be able to talk freely about me,

i just hate it all it is not what i wanted but i wnat to make it bearable for us all

Left with whoevers there?

Like who? His parents? What? Friends?

That sounds well dodgy to me, sorry.

Tottie your ex isnt very amicable to you, and he certainly dont have your daughtert's best interest at heart if he cant even be bothered to make sure that his work doesnt effect his time with his daughter, who is looking after her when he is called out, his wife or other family memebers ?

i know he doesnt have her best intrests at heart and that really gets to me when i have given up my time with her, but i have been told by a solicitor that while she is in his care it is his decision to do it - i guess he would normally leave dd with his mum, - who hates me and lets dd know this, in fact his mum is the only person who hasnt moved on in all of this, we have all moved on, it has been 2 years now, ex is married and yet his mum is still not happy, to be honest even though i have not met his wife i feel better that dd was with her from what i dd has told me, - she sounds very nice ( never thought i would say that!!!)

trouble is if i try and discuss with ex he sees it as me trying to cause problems,

i just want to make the seperation easier for dd