Cafcass experienced people x

[anxiousmummy1]

My ex is taking me to court to get more access to our daughters (6 and 9) we currently have an EOW and kne night a week arrangement that he instigated about 18 months ago. Communication is very bad and he has not replied to letters from my solicitor suggesting plans for more access. I haven't been obstructive at all. He hasn't replied to the letter from march and only vaguely mentions having more contact time but never properly in writing or directly to me, only through our two girls. I'm petrified of the whole process and don't want my girls interviewed etc and I don't know whether I will be able to say things clearly to caffcass as I get very upset when talking abouty children. I'm devasted I'm a part time mum and although I'm happy to give more access I will find it hard. They have a good routine. Is it likely he would get awarded more than 50%? His job doesn't really enable this and surely we need good communication for proper shared care. I do everything and all the parenting work currently he is playing disney dad. Can some one explain what is likely to happen? I don't know how any of this work and I'm really worried. Thanks x

i went through it but my ds was a toddler.

Make it factual with cafcass and about the children.

When I went through it, 2012, they only interviewed the children if there are safeguarding concerns. I can't imagine that there workload has decreased since then!

*their!

It's hard to say if he'll get more than 50% because you haven't really given much info but to put it clearly it's extremely unlikely unless there is neglect and/or abuse or you can't cope or something. Otherwise it's basically not going to happen.

Even 50 percent isn't easy to get, the UK doesn't like to implement it even though its fairly common in Europe and USA.

I wonder how common it actually is? I think I'm just paranoid. There are no safeguarding issues at all but I know the kids will say they want to spend more time with Disneyland daddy etc because I'm the one who does all the discipline, homework etc. Currently the girls go to him 70:30 and I've proposed 60:40. He works full time and even on his days I have to work part time to do the school run for him.

no advice with cafcass- but OP stop doing the school run for him?!

you are enabling him to gain more access! let him get childcare on his days or if he refuses tell him that you will do the school run and they on on your time instead!

They would literally just be left at school if I didn't do it! He thinks collecting them at 4:30 from mine is perfectly reasonable for an overnight. Is that reasonable? I'm doing all the running around and paying for afterschool care until I get there and I can't work full hours on those days?

You need to stop doing anything on his days. He needs to sort childcare or pick them up, he needs to have enough clothes and uniform etc for them? Why are you allowing him to be a Disney dad whilst you run yourself ragged? If the DC are left at the school gates then as awful as it sounds you let it happen, pick them up, make a note of it and inform the school of what days he should be collecting so they can be blowing up his phone with you as emergency contact.of course he wants more contact if he doesn't actually have to do any parenting?

I woukd definitely pay for legal advice-
I also agree you shoukd stop childcare for him but get kegal advice at this point