What would you do???

[clpsmum]

My stbxh has been blocked on mine and my children's phone. My dc have been nc with him for six months now (their choice for reasons I won't bore you with!). He's had a solicitors letter telling him not to contact them via their consoles and not to log in as them. He's also had a solicitors letter telling him they are adamant they do not wish any contact with him. In the same letters he was told not to contact me, the police have also advised him the same.

Because he is blocked on our phones the only way he can contact me is via email which he does daily but I ignore. He also calls me and withholds his number which makes me so anxious as I feel I have to answer it in case it's not him if you see what I mean. Most of the time it is him and brings on an anxiety attack with me. He has now also started logging into my dcs consoles as them, unblocking himself, logging back in as himself as messaging them. He's done this twice tonight alone!! We changed their passwords but he still seems to be able to log in (not very technical so not sure how or if I'm doing something wrong). My question is what would you do about this? I don't want to bother police again but at the same time I'm scared to answer my phone and he's making me a nervous wreck

I would contact the police.
I recognise its hard and emotionally draining. But you need to do it, because if you don't you are basically telling him he can do what he wants and can ignore your sections letter.
Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, but this is one of those things that is worth doing and will pay off in the longer term.

*solicitors letter.

Thank you. I kind of thought that but my head is so messed up from constant gaslighting I didn't know if I was over reacting c

I'm assuming he has access to the email account to reset the password. Or there's two default email addresses to send them to. Might be worth having a look at that. I'd contact the police too.

I wouldn't hesitate to go to the police

You're definitely not over reacting 🌷

Thank you everybody. I know his mindset and he thinks I'm poisoning the dc against him. I'm really not, I don't need to he's done it himself. He emails saying I just want to talk to my dc, I can't understand why you can't be civil and talk to me etc etc and it makes me doubt myself.

Police. Show him you are in control of the situation. Stay strong and show your children you support their decision.

The police could probably get him on cyber crime (posing as someone else to log into their account) in this situation, LET ALONE harrassing you. Have you had advice from Women's Aid, they're good on digital stuff these days as well I believe.

I contacted the police and they are coming to see me in the morning for a chat. Thank you everybody for you support. I feel like I'm losing my mind, I'm a nervous wreck and I'm not the person that I know I am of you know what I mean x

Call the police and set up new email addresses for the childen's consoles. He clearly has access to their email so can re-set himself.

Print out all his emails before the police come as this will help them see the scope of his scope/content. Try and note down all the times he calls with a withheld number. He is trying to make you question whether you are reasonable so you give in- don't fall for it! Women's Aid are great support with these things, please give them a call for support.

Its very emotionally draining, but stay strong and resolute. It often gets worse before getting better.

Well done, OP

You're doing the right thing. Your poor kids must be anxious too, knowing he is all over their gaming account. He harassing all of you.

Good luck.

Thank you everyone. The police have advised to speak to my solicitor about a non harassment order. Thank you all for your support it's very greatly appreciated

Set up a rule on your email inbox so that his mails all go to a separate folder. They are then there if you need them for evidence but you don't have to read them.

Well done op 👍

Please do go back to the police. If you're not confident about resetting passwords etc, try to find a friend or family member who can help you.
It's really important to hold firm to your boundaries and make clear to him that you're not budging.
He sounds absolutely awful. Please keep hold of your mental health.🌻

Trying hard to take care of mine and my children's mental health. Children seem to be better since not seeing him tbh me not so much. I am a nervous wreck and constantly doubting myself and wondering if I really am making something out of nothing and a terrible parent like he says. Most of the time I know I'm not but it's hard. I'm here with no family or support around me and life is tough just now. Thank you everybody for your support it's very greatly accepted and appreciated x

Sounds like a non molestation order would help, gather all the evidence please don’t let this get to you, good lyck