Arranging contact between ex dp and children

[hurricane]

How did you go about this? What advice did you have from mediators/ solicitors? How did you eventually reach an agreement if you did?

Although dp has left me against my wishes he seems to think I should allow him to pick and choose contact to suit him and to allow him to change arragments week by week.

I want routine and times to suit the children first and me second.

He has to understand that it's NOT convenient and not best for the children to make arrangements to suit him. It'll only upset them if he makes plans with them and then drops them if something 'more interesting' comes up. If they're little, they'll be upset, if they're older, they'll be furious and come to dislike him. But you know all this. It sounds like he's being thoroughly immature.

My ex was terribly civilized - he took dd to stay every weekend at the start, until she herself said she wanted to spend some weekends at home - then we agreed she'd go two weekends in three. Now she's older, she and he decide when she visits him and I don't have to organise things much. However, if your dp won't agree to a set schedule, you will have to discuss it through the solicitors and if he breaks the arrangements, he'll risk losing access. That threat may wake him up a bit.

Good luck, this is the hardest part. It will get easier.