Single mum from birth

[HL123]

Hi all,
I have a little girl who is 16 weeks old - the father has never met her and hasn't spoken to me since early in the pregnancy, he doesn't want any involvement.
I love being a Mum but I am just absolutely exhausted. I have some family support, and my mum has offered to have baby overnight once per week (she has had a couple of overnights there already), which I think would help but it makes me feel like a bit of a failure, and I don't want to unsettle my daughter too much.
I'm trying so hard to keep on top of everything and be the best mum I can but I feel like I'm constantly treading water.
Does anyone have any coping advice please?

The only parenting advice I've ever given is to take all the help you can. It is exhausting and knowing you have a night a week to recharge is wonderful. Any one who has ever offered to take mine has been taken up on their offer and I don't feel like a failure at all. I actually think it's good for kids to have as wide a circle as possible. You are doing great, but give yourself a break!

Take the help from your mum. You are not a failure at all. And don't worry about it unsettling her too much. Even though I was there I stayed at my partners mums once a week so she could see baby (before lockdown and recently since lockdown) and it didn't really unsettle him at all. She will get used to it.

You are doing an amazing job, you need a rest don't begrudge yourself that.

I looked after my dgc a lot in the early days. I certainly didn't feel anything but respect for dil /ds for reaching out and asking for help. Happy to give support some of us dgm's you know!!

been there lovely. its really hard, but you will cope. Take all the help you can get. If you can, get your child in nursery when old enough to give yourself a break.

it does get easier, i promise!

I'm sure you're doing an amazing job but as has been said above, take all the help you can get. I'm not a single parent so can't begin to imagine how hard it is but I did have twins when my DS was 2 and when DH went back to work after paternity leave it was so hard so my DParents used to come and help me out on a daily basis and they used to have DTD over for a sleepover one night a week so that we got some rest. You will enjoy your baby more if you're not frazzled so don't feel guilty

Take the help, a healthy and settled mummy = happy baby

My parents helped and still helps loads and I have a husband (who works nights five days a week) and I couldn't have got through it without them

Posters are right OP. There’s no shame at all. I don’t think your baby with be unsettled it’s good to get them used to other people from a young age so they don’t become too clingy.

Can you join any groups to meet other mums? Have your friends got children?

Thanks so much all, you've made me feel a lot better.
I do have some friends with babies but they're all with the dads (not saying that makes it a lot easier!).
I will take my mum up on the offer and try not to feel too guilty! X

Remember your baby will benefit from a dm who has had a night's sleep!!

Take the help, I’m a single mum to 4 been single since the birth of my youngest although she’s 3 now, if my mum was offering to have them once a week I would be biting her hand off! I’ve never had a night off

Take the help! I have been single mum since birth, but DC's dad has been very involved and supportive, and I still massively struggled. You're doing great, but must be utterly exhausted. One night a week sounds fabulous, it'll lovely for your mum, for baby and for you.

@Tracetwotimes Thankyou xx

I was a single mum from birth. Use your Mum! I can’t underestimate this enough! I did and now 10 years later my mum and child have the most wonderful bond you’ve ever seen. So beneficial to both of them

Let your mum have your daughter overnight. You need the rest and it will be good for their relationship.
I’ve been a single parent since birth, my ex husband isn’t involved but my mother and siblings take a genuine interest - as well as practical help they are also willing to listen and talk about all stages of parenting because they are so bonded to her. I moved back to my home town so my daughter could benefit from lots of adults in her life, not just me.