Dc moving schools

[SpaceRaiders]

I have 2 dc, one very unhappy at school and has been for 2 years. Dc in an anxious mess most mornings, school refusing, pre lockdown dc would be pulled screaming from me and has been since the start, it’s affecting her confidence and learning etc.

I’d like to move her but ex is unhappy, so far his reasons have been dc won’t see each other in the same school, they don’t anyways and haven’t done since Autumn 2018 due to how they’ve split years. He wants to give the school a proper chance, they’ve had two years and I’m not happy as they haven’t been very pro-active. He’s concerned about how dc would cope. Well it can’t get any worse than it is now realistically can it?

It has no impact on his EOW contact. He has form for being difficult. School is better set up for dyslexia which we will be assessing for privately.

I feel like I’m failing her, I just want the best for dc but I’m not sure I can handle going to court and besides it’d take at least a year in the meantime dc would remain somewhere they were unhappy.

Anyone else managed to overcome a similar situation? What was the outcome?

2 years is long enough to stick things out imo.
I'd move her and tell him to take me to court if he felt that strongly about it.

It’s so tricky knowing what to do. I’m very tempted to just move her but it’d cause so many issues. He’s seeing the new school next week then I’ve given him till half term to come up with a counter proposal, if not I’ll be moving her.

Does he only see them EOW??? If that’s the case I’d just tell him you are moving her. He obviously makes non of the day to day decisions.

Why is he so hell bent on her staying there? I’d just move him op, I wouldn’t even consult him. If he wants to go down the court route then she’ll have to stick it out at the school she’s in while the case plays out (will he months, if not a year plus). If you just move her then the most he can do is try to take you to court to pull her out and move her back. No way the court will go with that, especially with your reasons for moving her

It's so sad that his pride (?) comes before his child's happiness.
I would be pulling her out regardless of next week's appointment. 2 years is far too long to "stick it out" imo and I'd be worried that persevering longer would lead to her refusing any school at all. No judge is going to tell you that you were unreasonable prioritising her happiness or dyslexia.
The legal process is slow and drawn out - you could still be in this situation well into next year.

That’s my issue, he only does EOW as he lives an hour away. All the day to day care is on me. He doesn’t attend any parent teacher meetings with the school and therefore me proposing we move dd has come as a bit of a shock. Even though I told him over 12 months ago that senco are involved and dd was having play therapy privately. I really don’t understand what he thought was going on.

We’ve been to court for CAO and I’d really don’t want to go there again if I can help it. It’s expensive and bloody stressful. But he just won’t see sense. I feel we’ve given it our best shot and now covid has had a further impact on her too. Therefore it’s best she moves to setting which is better able to support her where I can pay for additional support where necessary.

I'd be worried that persevering longer would lead to her refusing any school at all.

The only reason she goes in is because the head whom non of the children like stands sternly at the gate every morning.

If we don’t move her we’ll never know if it’s the school that’s the issue or a combination of various factors. God, I’m so stressed right now.