Feeling so depressed at becoming a single mum

[Hotairoverthere]

I could burst into tears at any moment. Feel dread and a lump in my throat at the prospect but equally relief that I am breaking free.

I feel overwhelmed. I need to get a job and I know how hard it’s going to be, juggling a house, kids and job. Alone.

I’m living in our family home which is lovely and has so much space. But I can’t afford it alone so We are selling it.

I’m overwhelmingly down about the prospect of moving and finding a job. I just want the best for my children who I fear will be living in poverty due to me.

Did anyone feel this way in the initial stages and everything work out ok and you were actually happier eventually?

Hi I ended up a single mum with my girls that were 2&4 at the time now 10&12 and I had another one that's 4 and ended up on my own when pregnant with her, my children's fathers are not nice people and cause me a lot of stress, but take that out I'm proud of what my children are achieving in school and home they are happy and healthy, I have a lot of health issues so I don't currently work, hoping to go to college next year, all I can say is the children will be happy if you're happy, good luck

You will be ok. You are allowed to grieve for your loss of relationship and how your future looks.
You will flourish working and making your new house a home for you and your little one.
Change is hard. Especially when you don't want it. But your home will become your haven and you will have it just how you want it. I love having my bed to myself and cuddles with the children when ever they want to come in.

You will make your money work. Look into any benefits you are entitled too. Go through all your direct debuts and cut back where you can. I am changing broad band suppliers and my mobile phone contract today and saved £40 a month. Make sure child support is through the CMS. Even if it is an amicable agree. That way if a payment gets missed it can be chased up.

Gather good people around you for support and take each day as it comes. I'm three years down the line and I can finally say I'm ok now.

You will be okay. Better, probably, in a new home that's only yours and memory free.
Your children are more resilient than you think, and just need to know you're there.
Be careful not to fall into the trap of spoiling them because you feel guilty. Stay strict, hold the boundaries when they push against them (much, much harder on your own) and they'll come out ok.
It might take a few years until you feel ok again, but every day is a step forward.
Give them jobs to help you in the house, don't be their slave, and talk / listen / talk / listen.
Lots of us have done this really well. Mumsnet can be supportive.
Live well!

I’m 6 years a LP, and completely alone. I adore it now, I wouldn’t have it any other way and would not date until dd is adult. It’s hard when they’re young and you are skint but you will find solutions and it will become awesome- the sense of achievement is amazing . We’re so close as well.