Can I go straight to CMS to ask for payments rather than making a private arrangement?

[Meeko505]

Here's the situation. My ex and I split up 1 year ago. He was emotionally abusive and occasionally physically, and I don't like interacting with him especially when there's conflict.

When we divorced I said I had no plans to ask for maintenance, because I just wanted to get out and wasn't bothered if it meant being very poor. I also thought saying that would make him less likely to push for 50-50 time with the kids, instead we've got 4 days with me, 3 days with him.

I'm thinking of claiming CMS because he refuses to pay for part of the children's uniform and I'd like to be able to pay for more things ie football class etc. without it breaking the bank.

(My income is around £700 a month, no UC because I have savings but I don't want to spend these as they're really my pension [self-employed]). He's self-employed too and while I don't know how much he earns, his salary would be at least £30k if he works 40 weeks a year 5 hours a day on the weekdays when he doesn't have the kids.

I think going by this I'd be owed around £200+ a month for 2 kids.

I know it says online you're supposed to make a private arrangement before going through CMS, but I'm really uncomfortable with the idea and I know he'd try to haggle me down and lie about his income to reduce the payments. I also know he pays into a private pension every year solely to reduce the amount he pays in CMS to his older daughter with someone else, so he might try and up this too.

WWYD?

Can I go straight to CMS to ask for payments rather than making a private arrangement?

Yes. Although I'm not sure how much benefit/aggro it might cause over 3/4 day split

Surely he will just lie and you'll get nothing

I'd still do it

There are two main types of arrangements with CMS: Direct Pay which is basically where they do a calculation based on his tax records and expect you and him to make arrangements for payment between yourselves. The other is Collect and Pay where they deduct it directly from their wages. There is a fee of 20% for the payer and 4% for the payee. Unfortunately CMS cannot just deduct money from self-employed people, it gets more complicated and AFAIK they would have to take him to court. On top of that, he is probably paying himself a basic wage and syphoning money off elsewhere (you mentioned pension) but it is definitely worth a try. I hear mixed things about CMS, for some people they are absolutely useless but for others they seem to get a good result.

@AyeCorona1

Can I go straight to CMS to ask for payments rather than making a private arrangement?

Yes. Although I'm not sure how much benefit/aggro it might cause over 3/4 day split

Even if he had them "more than 3 nights a week" on the calculator he'd owe something like £120 a month, which will at least cover uniform and some classes etc.

@MellowBird85

There are two main types of arrangements with CMS: Direct Pay which is basically where they do a calculation based on his tax records and expect you and him to make arrangements for payment between yourselves. The other is Collect and Pay where they deduct it directly from their wages. There is a fee of 20% for the payer and 4% for the payee. Unfortunately CMS cannot just deduct money from self-employed people, it gets more complicated and AFAIK they would have to take him to court. On top of that, he is probably paying himself a basic wage and syphoning money off elsewhere (you mentioned pension) but it is definitely worth a try. I hear mixed things about CMS, for some people they are absolutely useless but for others they seem to get a good result.

He does at least pay his ex the amount he means to. He doesn't have a company so other than paying into his pension he will pay himself at least a decent amount per month, but at this point even if it was only £50 a month or would at least cover uniform.

Ring CMS and get the info straight from them regarding your specific scenario. When they changed from CSA I had to ring an information line first about the three options and then make my choice. I've never had any problems with the new system and found it easy to use.

I opted for the middle one. They calculate how much ex needs to pay but he sets up a standing order to pay me. This allowed us to be flexible and reduce it temporarily by 20% when he was furloughed. But with this option if he was ever late paying or stopped I could move it straight to the higher level one. They review the amou t each year which CSA never did which is good as otherwise you have to rely on ex telling you of any payrises. I had to pay an admin fee but its worthwhile for a service that removes the middle man and thus the animosity linked to money conversations.

If you make your own arrangement there is no backup if they suddenly stop paying so you have to apply for one of the other options and then arrears start adding up.

If you go for the top it comes with a collection fee but you don't have to be involved at all.

The money is not for you it's for the children so I would go for it. If he kicks up a fuss because you said you wouldn't just say your situation has changed due to Covid.

When the children stay with him does he provide for them there? Do you provide all uniform or does he have his own set at his house?

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Ring CMS and get the info straight from them regarding your specific scenario. When they changed from CSA I had to ring an information line first about the three options and then make my choice. I've never had any problems with the new system and found it easy to use.

I opted for the middle one. They calculate how much ex needs to pay but he sets up a standing order to pay me. This allowed us to be flexible and reduce it temporarily by 20% when he was furloughed. But with this option if he was ever late paying or stopped I could move it straight to the higher level one. They review the amou t each year which CSA never did which is good as otherwise you have to rely on ex telling you of any payrises. I had to pay an admin fee but its worthwhile for a service that removes the middle man and thus the animosity linked to money conversations.

If you make your own arrangement there is no backup if they suddenly stop paying so you have to apply for one of the other options and then arrears start adding up.

If you go for the top it comes with a collection fee but you don't have to be involved at all.

The money is not for you it's for the children so I would go for it. If he kicks up a fuss because you said you wouldn't just say your situation has changed due to Covid.

When the children stay with him does he provide for them there? Do you provide all uniform or does he have his own set at his house?

I buy all the uniform and provide him with it for the nights he has them. He has a huge bee in his bonnet about it and so won't buy any on principle. I asked him the other day to at least replace some if it got damaged at his house and he said I should ask the school to because they're the ones who insist on it. He's just always very difficult.

Yes I did. Just explain to them the situation you are in and they will act accordingly. CMS is your child’s right.