Anyone recently become a single parent? Looking for advice.

[YourHandInMyHand]

Me and DS2's dad are about to split.

I've so many thoughts and worries running through my mind!

• How long is UC taking to come through for new claims at the moment?

• Last time I was a single mum it was income support. I'm unsure if I'll be better or worse off. DS1 has special needs and so he gets DLA and I get carers allowance. He also gets an extra element of child tax credit. I just hope we aren't massively worse off compared to when I did it before on income support.

• DS2 is 18 months old. I'm heartbroken that when his dad gets a house he will be away from me overnight.

• DS1 is going to be heartbroken. His step dad is more of a dad to him than his actual dad, with his asd too he's going to take it hard, on top of going back to school and being worried about covid.

• I know it's for the best in the long run, but I'm so sad. Anger hasn't kicked in yet. I don't think I'll ever put my kids or me through this again. I'll probably be a single lady forever, good job I like my own company!

I've been a single mum for years, you will be ok. Just focus on today for now rather than the future and take it a day at a time.
If you go on to the entitled to website and input all of your details they can give you a roundabout figure of what you will be entitled to on universal credit.
I don't claim it but I know that when you claim you can get an advance on your first payment to tide you over that you repay monthly out of your allowance so you won't be left with no money for weeks while its processed.
Good luck with everything.

Just take one thing at a time. Turn2us website has a calculator for UC so you can get an idea what your income will be.

Gather good people around you for support

Going back to school will be good to get back into routine and not be home dwelling on things. You have survived this before you will survive it again. Just take each day as it comes.

I separated from my dcs dad in March just before lock down hit so I understand the anxiety you are feeling. The UC process was actually really painless and the lady who processed my claim was very supportive. Like PP said you are able to claim an advance, which you then pay back monthly. The advance was processed immediately. My payment was pretty much exactly what the Entitled to website said so it is worth looking there to find out what you will get.

My youngest DC is also 18 months and I hate the idea of him going to stay somewhere else, but so far I have avoided this as my ex has moved into a shared house, which isn't really suitable. My 4 year old has stayed with his dad and I hated it, but it did make me realise how lucky I am to have him with me pretty much all of the time.

Remember to be kind to yourself and focus on the positives. My house is so much happier and more relaxed now as there is no tension and I have really enjoyed creating new routines and weekly traditions with my DC. Like you I am happy to focus on my DC and remove men from the equation for the foreseeable future. I'm happy rediscovering me. Good luck!!

Thank you all for replying, I really appreciate it.

He's moved to his friends house for now. It feels strange like it's not fully sank in yet, but I know this is it.

I'm worried about this interim time and the unknown of it all, but I'm sure in time I'll be okay.