Single mum - cruel ex, issues with wages and childminder quit!

[Emmiess]

Hi all,
There is not much than can be done about my situation, but just looking for some “it will get better posts” I guess. I really need some!
I am a single mother with no support network and on a low income. My baby was two months old when lockdown started so no baby groups to create a support network. Just the two of us in the flat figuring life out. My ex has never even met his son, but finds time to humiliate me by saying things such as I’ve ruined lives by having my (his) son. We were no longer together when I got pregnant, but I chose to keep my baby (I am 40 so last chance). It’s the best decision I’ve ever made, but it’s tough when the father tells you are a wicked evil person for doing so. My family live in another country and I am currently battling issues with wages at work. To add to this - I thought I was lucky to find a lovely childminder. My DS had been settling in beautifully considering he is a lockdown baby! I am due to return to work (end of maternity) a week on Monday, but when I went to pick him up today she said she felt she could not take him on anymore. I’ve been knocked for six. I trusted her. She thought my situation was very stressful and didn’t want to get attached to my D.S if things didn’t work out. I guess my situation is not great, but I’m unsure how she feels it affects her. She had already booked a lot of time off during term time and I was concerned this was going to become a habit, so probably for the best in the long run, but i feel so awful. It’s triggered my insomnia And made me feel like an awful mother. Sorry, not very happy reading!

Take each situation separately.

Ex ignore, put a claim in cms if you haven't already and block him.

If you are on social media block him , check privacy settings.

The childminder, contact childminders over the weekend .

You have come through a very difficult time. New babies are a lot of work and with no support and lock down added into the mix you should be proud of what you have achieved.

I would block ex on everything. He clearly has no interest in your son. Tell him he is free to arrange contact if he so wishes but you want to go through mediation. Until then you want no further contact with him.

His actions will be impacting upon your mental well being. So cut him off now.

Get on face book local sites and ask around for available child minders. Although stressful for you. You can sort this.

The ex is the easiest bit to sort out. Block him everywhere and put a call in to CMS.
His child maintenance will go towards that lovely new childminder you'll find.

You said the childminder backed out because of your life situation? Keep it brief with the new childminder. She (or he) doesn't need to know anything more than you're a single working mum and your child is not involved with its dad.

As for work? Call acas and ask them for advice on getting unpaid wages.

It'll get better.

Thank you everyone. I really needed that.