This will be a long one so please bear with me. Has anyone, as a lone parent, stepped back in their career for their own health and family life?
I'm a lone parent with two children, living in a rural town. Career in public administration of almost 20 years. Children are 9 and 15. I was in a marriage where husband was in an area which required long years of study, while I supported everything. Of course he swanned off into a glorious future and his career has gone stratospheric.
I worked in a charity managing a section which was an extremely stressful job, but I was well paid. I was very stressed and started looking for a new job. I got a job working in another sector with a small drop in salary. The job description was interesting and it offered flexi-time.
After a few months our area moved into a centralised location, which greatly increased my commute. I easily spend €100 per week on diesel between work and children. Plus I now have to pay a toll. The new location brings me into a large industrial area where traffic is manic. My commute can be from an hour to one hour 30 and as time went on, it was getting near 1.5 hours very day. The centre is very congested so even getting out on the road is a hassle. I leave at 6.50 am to try and beat it. Luckily my children get the bus and my eldest waits with the youngest. After school in the school is a huge help.
The work is not as advertised. I spend all day in a miserable quiet office where no one speaks. There isn't a good atmosphere at work. I have made some friends but not in my section. The work is mind numbingly boring. I enter data all day long. I am losing my mind. I have asked about my other duties and told that the job had altered and that was it.
The extra distance means children's appointments are very difficult and stressful.
Although flexi was offered as a plus, it's not allowed in our section except for starting late or leaving early. Unfortunately if you arrive later than 9.30 you can't find a parking space. I find it hard to work longer as I am so wrecked every day.
I could manage, but last year my psoriasis flared up badly. During lockdown I discovered I have ulcerative colitis. Currently trying to find medication that suits me. These are all stress related.
During lockdown we have been working from home. My family life has been transformed. Everyone is happier. Plus I am saving money due to no commuting, no childcare. I have managed to make medical appointments for myself easily. I am surprised as how little we have lived on. But most importantly I have been nearby, near to my children, instead of seeing them in the evenings. I know school will be returning but I was around.
We are having a meeting tomorrow regarding return to work and I am sick at the thoughts.
Prior to lockdown I had applied for a few jobs and none are now proceeding. Rarely do jobs appear locally.
I saw a job advertised at a relatively junior level in my own town. It would entail a massive pay drop. But the company are a really good one to work for, very supportive, friendly. They have a great reputation. Would I be crazy to apply for it? It would mean that I would be around for breakfast, five minutes walk from schools, no commuting costs. Even though it is a junior-ish role it sounds interesting and there is great scope to develop. I could manage the money if we were careful.
I feel that seven years of trying to juggle everything
in the rat race is literally killing me.
Of course there is no guarantee that I may get this job but I have all the sill set required and I am extremely experienced. My current role has no scope for development and I can actually feel my skill set beginning to atrophy.
I'm wavering as I asked my mum what she thought and she said "well I think you are better than that".
Any advice? Any other lone parent do something similar?
My ex only has one child every second weekend and never does any logistics with them. He pays €500 in total in maintenance per month. He has a very good job.
Thank you.