I'm shaking with rage

[Singlemum31]

My girls dad has let them down AGAIN. he's even got his mum to text me to tell me a shitty excuse he's working apparently and his phone is dead........... I've had enough of this man. What's my next steps?? I've always worried about how I look because he will tell everyone I've stopped him seeing his children but enough is enough. Our eldest girl adores him so stopping them from going is last resort. Dunno how else I'm suppose to deal with this. He can't keep getting away with letting his children down. I'm sooo angry.

As others have said you can't force him to be reliable or to see the children. Offer him every Sunday 10-4. If he doesn't turn up by 10.15 make your own plans. Don't tell the children he is coming. If they ask say soon. Or keep it vague. Or dads busy.

I have been through the same. Ex would ignore all messages and I had no idea what was going on. So I just did the above. The children are use to it now. They have no expectations of him. If he turns up it is surprise for them.

Keep notes of everything. I have three years of diaries if I ever need to evidence his unreliability.

Alwaysinpain

Maybe you need to read my advice again.

I refuse to slag off my children's dad to them, they don't need me to point out his shortcomings, that would just divide us too. He is their father, it's not for me to tell them how shit he is-I life in hope that one day he'll sort himself out.

I tell them what he has told me, it's as simple as that. Everyone else in their life is incredibly reliable, they know it's just him and it is very sad for them but do you honestly think I've not said my piece in the past? Do you honestly think men who behave like this will change their ways through a few choice words!? If you think ranting at these men will change them then you're wrong. He sees them or he doesn't see them..it's not for the mum's to have to force the fathers into seeing their own children.