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contact order breach help

9 replies

Louiselewis2 · 13/08/2020 20:52

so i have a contact order with ex 2 days a week 10-5 our ds stayed over for the first time last week, as ex has been harrassing me over and over and i just cant take it anymore. There was dv (mentally) in our relationship. Our ds is really upset during the days of contact and the day after, he has night terrrors shouting mummy mummy. So i was hesitant to let overnights happen but ive tried it and its not gone well, ds didnt and wont whenever he goes to his dads do a number 2, ex came to meeting point( we meet in public as the order says) 40 mins late, he has been late picking up and dropping off at least once a week, also has cancelled contact saying he is ill but goes out with mates. He turned up with 2 girls in the car (early 20s) and handed ds over to me in just a t shirt no underwear/nappy, now he said because he had wet himself twice while out ( he has been potty trained since march), he says nothing to me gets in the car and drives off. I messaged to ask why ds was naked in a car with 2 people i have never seen before, and told him ds has been crying holding his tummy i asked had he been toilet he said no. He also said whoever is in his car has nothing to do with me which i dont care who he is with what i care about is ds being naked, and also we are in local lockdown so shouldnt be mixing with others outside household.

Im so upset and angry that i dont want ds to go to contact at weekend, does anyone else know what they would do?? Ive spoke to solicitor she has said i can stop contact with a good reason and she thinks if he cant give me a good enough explanation as to why he was naked and with 2 people he doesnt know then i can stop contact. Any advice would be appreciated 😔

OP posts:
Cabinfever10 · 14/08/2020 20:53

Call ss and tell them everything that you have put here.
What you have described is wrong on so many levels

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 14/08/2020 20:58

Let him take you back to court.
Your poor ds.
Keep a timeline /diary of how your ds has been post visits etc.

carly2803 · 14/08/2020 21:31

as above. stop contact immediately

let him take you back to court, speak to your solicitor but no way in hell should he be naked with 2 random people in a car - male or female!

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 14/08/2020 22:19

Look at it this way... If you allow your ds to be naked around strange people doesn't that count as neglect on your part? Keep ds home...

Louiselewis2 · 14/08/2020 23:27

Thank you for your advice ive been so up and down with it all. All he keeps saying is he wet himself and he didnt want to leave him in his wet clothes as ds has eczema and lots of things trigger it. My solicitor has told me to keep notes on marks on his body etc and a diary but i always have done. She said to let him have his contact days no overnights and keep a very close eye on whats happening. Im logging it all with my health visitor too and get her advice when she rings me back. It makes me feel very uneasy i just dont want to be doing the wrong thing. Hes told me he had 3 accidents and had no clothes left. Which i said id rather he be in wet undies for half an hour rather than naked!

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Light11 · 16/08/2020 19:15

It sounds like the dad is not coping well with the little one, would wonder if it would be better for the little one to reduce contact for now and increase it later on.

Louiselewis2 · 17/08/2020 11:45

Ive changed it back to just the 6 hours twice a week and a contact book back in place so that i know what hes eating and anything else so that its written down rather than by word of mouth that way he cant deny what he says. 😊

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Light11 · 17/08/2020 15:30

Sounds like a more sensible arrangement :)

If only we all had sensible arrangements!

Louiselewis2 · 17/08/2020 18:48

Im trying even though when he had him saturday he still didnt write in the book he stood and toldme so i wrote again please write in this booklol. I just dont want to talk to him at all im pleasent aroundmy son but thats all 😊 the ex just doesnt see what he has done or treated me in the past hes in complete denial x

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