Ex keeps letting DD down

[char97xo]

Hi, I'm new here but I am just a bit lost on what to do next.

My ex and I split up a few months ago now, we decided that he would see DD whenever he could and especially now as she will be going back to nursery soon. However, he keeps saying to her that he is going to come and see her and then calls up closer to the time saying that he doesn't know if he wants to which almost always leads to him saying that he isn't seeing her that day.

It's really upsetting and I have had my daughter cry over it, asking questions about why he doesn't want to see her and it's hard as a mother because I don't know what to say to her. I grew up being let down constantly by my mother and it is the last thing I want for my daughter.

I am just unsure of what to do now... any advice/personal experiences would be very much appreciated!

TIA

All you can do is wait for him to either sort himself out or to give up completely. In the meantime leave things open but don't chase him and always be there for DD. It's an adjustment period, it's still relatively fresh. It's probably hard for him and he needs to make a decision and be there or not, you can't force him to change who he is which is ultimately what will decide which decision he makes.

I think you probably need structured times when he sees her and if he misses it then that’s it until next week or whatever. I’d be vague with your DD about when she’s going to see her dad so she doesn’t get her hopes up.

I stopped telling the children their dad was coming and it was a nice surprise for all of us when he did out in an appearance. If she asks I always say soon.

Don’t tell her he may be coming . Structured times . Coming whenever isn’t working.

He misses move on . Some of this is game playing. Ignore it . The more you feed the drama the more he enjoys it.