I want to leave my husband but...

[fieldofds]

I want to leave my husband but I'm worried how I would survive financially on my own?

If we sold our family home I would have a small deposit for a house but I don't think I would get a mortgage with my low part time salary??

And how do lone parents have enough to pay mortgage, bills, childcare, even food?!

Would love to hear how other lone parents do it, and how much they have to live on each month (if you're happy to share of course)

It depends where you live and how much an adequate house is to home your family.. and how much you earn.. so many variables.

Can you increase you hours ?
How old are your children ?
If you do how much will the child care cost. ?
Do you have a good credit rating. To get a mortgage.
How much universal credit would you get towards childcare ?

I can do the UC calculation if you have the figures. Please feel free to PM me.

It varies. I work part time and am topped up with universal credit and my sons DLA.

I was meant to get child support but haven't seen a penny In 2 years.

My son is 16 in 2 years and I know he will not get PIP. But will still need me to support him. I plan to increase my hours and be full time at this point. As eventually the UC will stop. So need to cover my out going with my income. Although sadly if the children are still home they will need to contribute. Or I rent out a room to a lodger. Is my long term plan to enable me to remain in the house.

My situation is tight. And I have very supportive family to bridge the gap when I'm struggling. But they shouldn't have too. The children's father should pay his way.

Don't live your life in unhappiness. Best thing I did was leave my husband of 10 years. Happiest I've been in what feels like forever. You'll find a way to make ends meet.

When my exH and I split, we sold the family home and I had enough to put down on a shared ownership property. So I have a small mortgage plus a rental portion to pay to the housing company. It's enabled me to get back on the ladder and have my money tied in the property, rather than sitting in a bank account tempting me to spend it! My monthly payments are almost £300 a month cheaper than an equivalent pure rent private property. I get child maintenance from my ex and a top up from UC. I work 25 hours a week and have a DS5. Obviously you have to reign the spending right in but you get used to it! I can't afford expensive holidays abroad but I run my own car and we have days out at the beach/country park and take a picnic. Treats can happen but not every month.

I am in the same position i'm going to break the news to my soon to be ex husband on tues when kids are staying with my parents in case he turns nasty. My kids are 11 and 8 and i work part time. i fully expect their dad to be awkward about giving me maintenance but having done the UC calculation (if it's accurate!) i think i'll be ok and like above poster i plan to go back full time when benefits stop. sorry i'm not much help but i know how u feel xx

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

It depends where you live and how much an adequate house is to home your family.. and how much you earn.. so many variables.

Can you increase you hours ?
How old are your children ?
If you do how much will the child care cost. ?
Do you have a good credit rating. To get a mortgage.
How much universal credit would you get towards childcare ?

I can do the UC calculation if you have the figures. Please feel free to PM me.

sorry to butt in on OP's post but I'd be really grateful if u could also help me with this?? xx

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

It depends where you live and how much an adequate house is to home your family.. and how much you earn.. so many variables.

Can you increase you hours ?
How old are your children ?
If you do how much will the child care cost. ?
Do you have a good credit rating. To get a mortgage.
How much universal credit would you get towards childcare ?

I can do the UC calculation if you have the figures. Please feel free to PM me.

Thank you, I'd really appreciate this. However I'm new to Mumsnet - how do I DM you?!

@Glittergirl80 good for you. Wishing you all the best and hope your husband is supportive in the future

@Legallybleachblonde thank you that's really helpful and a similar position to what I'd be in I think

Remember you also get maintenance (and yes using it on rent/mortgage payments counts on using it "for the kids") which isn't taxable. Make sure you have a note of husbands NI number before the split as often they decide not to be open about finances further down the line unfortunately, the CSM may need it.

@MrsHInch I'm sure I would be happier on my own, it's just overwhelming the thought of taking that first step. I know people do it all the time though and make things work

@JeSuisPoulet I know I need to do my research into maintenance etc as I have no idea how it works. Does one parent always have to pay maintenance to the other? What about if both parents share childcare equally? Would the lower earner receive maintenance?

Good tip about getting the NI number! Thank you

Tbh there are loopholes so anything you can give CSM will help. It is meant to be a % of his wage). Be careful when you are talking about money though as this is the most contentious issue many of us face. Too many mum's get zero maintenance at all, which obviously increases child poverty. The gingerbread website might be helpful too www.gingerbread.org.uk/ Good luck!