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Am I doing the right thing??

2 replies

MissMarvelMum · 28/07/2020 13:33

I left my ex 3 years ago (he was so controlling and was emotionally abusive. I think he is a narcissist) when the kids were 1&3. They just turned 4&6 in June. I went to a lawyer so many times but he wouldn’t respond, so the whole time he would say ‘I’ll take them at XX’ and wouldn’t turn up or would arrive the next day. He let them down in February and I told him not to come back until I get a lawyer letter. I only asked him to take them from 12-6 on a Saturday! 6 hours! Anyway he’s not seen this since February and I’ve not heard from him (but I did block him). Nothing on either birthday (again maybe my fault for blocking him). My kids haven’t bothered but lately my 6 year old (who is autistic) has been getting upset asking for his dad. What do I do? I know his dad would say yeah and take them once or twice then start messing around. He has a girlfriend he has been on and off with from last year and he introduced my two kids to her and her 3 kids. It was a nightmare when they broke up cause my kids were missing her kids and it’s me dealing with it. My eldest even asked me if her kids had their own dad. Anyway should I stand firm and wait on the lawyers letter of agreement that I know will never come. Or do I just let him walk in and out of their life’s? I just want my boys to be happy!

OP posts:
omg35 · 30/07/2020 14:27

You can't force him to be a parent so I'd stop trying. I have no experience of dealing with autistic kids so I'm not sure how you'd explain it to your son but hope someone else will be able to advise on that

Mintjulia · 30/07/2020 17:45

Omg35 is right. You can’t force someone to parent a child.

It’s sad and makes me angry for your dcs, but if your ex can’t be arsed, it’s best to let it go. At least he can’t keep letting them down.

Is there anyone in his family - a grandparent maybe - who offers a better chance of a reliable relationship?

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