Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

New born, toddler and dad! Help!

2 replies

november90 · 28/07/2020 13:13

My husband left me at 24 weeks pregnant. Complete and utter shock, he always told me he was happy and loved me!
He was absolutely vile after. Threatened court when he didn't get his own way, blaimed absolutely everything on me, blocked all my family and friends off social media, refusing to pay our joint finicial debts, refused to pay for any new baby items, was absent at the birth of our second baby.... the list goes on and on and on.
Anyway... he has our eldest son 2 nights a week. I suggested he takes our new baby (who is 10 weeks old now) our for a couple of hours before he takes DS1 but he didn't commit to it and to this day he's never taken him out... doesn't really ask after him unless in conversation... sometimes picks him up when he picks DS1 up but not always.
I know my ex. One day he will turn around and just expect to be able to take him... whether it's tomorrow or at 6 months and I completely reject this. Just like he did with Ds1. He didn't do much as far as looking after him up until he left and then started demanding joint custody. He has no bond with him (DS2) and he shows very little interest which would make me feel extremely uncomfortable him having him for long days. For example, DS2 has his jabs and was very unwel after them, ex knew this. It took him 1 week to ask how he was despite within this time seeing us when picking DS1 up and texting each other about something unrelated.
It breaks my heart. He broke my heart when he left me and our son. I frankly only agreed to 2 nights as he threatened court and was manipulating me. I'm happy DS1 is safe but wouldn't agree to anymore time and I don't think he's a good influence. I feel like he's going to break DS2 heart too. He's rejected so much of his life so far because of his own ego! Has anyone else been in this boat? How do I even process all of this?

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 28/07/2020 13:19

What a twat he sounds. Honestly OP I would stop contact with your other son until he can be balanced and see both.

If he doesn't agree to having one on one time with your baby every week (twice) then no more overnights with DS1.

It's going to become clear to your children very, very soon that Daddy is only interested in your older child.

By about 3 they are capable of picking up this stuff. Sort it now.

november90 · 28/07/2020 14:08

Sorry I should say that I'm breast feeding and I intend to breast feed until he's about 1.5 years old (the age I stopped with my first)... so I don't expect him to have DS2 as much as ds1 and I wouldn't want to either! But I had thought he would want to spend some time with him but there's no interest and I just know he will Blaine me and my breast feeding! I cannot express for a number of different reasons, but I did say he can have him for a couple of hours before feeds.
It's just a horrible situation to be in! I don't want ds1 to feel spoilt!
These boys are my whole world. I've done everything for them. Every night feed, every illness, all the doc apps.... just for him to walk out and dictate them like this! It makes my blood boil! He's just a. Dad when it suits him!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread