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[Emellie20]

Hi all looking for some advice,
Me and my ex broke up when I was 3 months pregnant due to his behaviour towards me he was extremely verbally abusive. We said we would be amicable for my LG sake, I had received some legal advice as he had threatened to take her As well. I was advised to do a parenting plan so I did one we both signed it anyways he then breached it on the first day she was born, so it for me was then out the window. I struggled extremely with my mental health I was diagnosed with anxiety and PND I was also paranoid and was very unwell due to having a bad infection, he still continued to see her for short frequent visits even when I was admitted back to hospital. Him and his mum came to mine when she was a couple of weeks old, we had an appointment that afternoon which he was aware of days before, he never mentioned over message him wanted to take her out or anything, he came and asked to take her I said no due to having this appointment and they both became verbally abusive towards me so after I decided I didn’t want them coming back to my home again so I suggested a contact centre and mediation which he said no to, he then got this Solictor who has tried to bully me and threaten me with courts and just has been aggressive in her approach. This has been going on now for 5 and a half months. We haven’t got anywhere other then he now agrees to seeing her in a contact centre. This is because he is now claiming I’m making false allegations even though I have evidence of everything iv said.
Anyways sorry for the long post. I decided to move closer to my family as I lived on my own with only few friends round me. This means that the distance is now 200 miles from him and he wants her over night from a Tuesday to a Thursday whilst I’m not against over nights in the future when she is older as she is only 6 months old I feel this is to much travelling for her. We are going to court on Tuesday about this. Wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation has any advice on what may happen or anything to honest? Thank you

You need legal advice asap.
It is not usual to allow overnights with such a young baby so he cannot insist on that.
Talk to your HV asap about this and get the correct advice before you go to court.

I do have a Solictor and have received legal advice on most parts of the matter but she can’t tell me what she think may happen.l unfortunately.

You moved 200 miles it is really your responsibility to facilitate contact.

Whether or not he would get overnight contact is another matter.

I wouldn’t necessarily agree with that i never lived anywhere near him in the first place there has always been 100 miles between us. I’m not against contact at all but it’s not in my daughters best interest to be travelling long distance regularly. Honestly your comment has been the least bit helpful

Dont worry he wont get overnights until way down the line, they dont even advise it until aged 2-3 anyway. Due to his unpredictable and a abusive behaviour he will have to show he can be a good father and keep his mouth in check. You need a court order so that he cannot bark his demands at you. Your solicitor doesn't sound very good, they should have some idea how things will go. What are they suggesting to the court should happen in regards to contact? It may be that you have to meet half way for contact in a play area or something or he may have to travel and stay overnight in a hotel until overnights are established, I have heard similar things.

That’s what iv said when she is older as I’m not against them and have said that but he’s so desperate for them to happen as soon as possible that’s what he has said in his position statement. I’m asking for a residency order and in that to have that he can’t contact me only through email, and a few other things. Also where she lives due to his threat of taking her. He’s said he wants an hour a week for 3 weeks in a contact centre then 10-4 he hasn’t seen her since she was 17 days old she doesn’t know who he is and will get upset I think it needs to be longer in shorter visits until a relationship is established and then on his own.
She isn’t that great if I’m honest, she said the court will want to see a date of when overnights start. He’s pushing for overnights as soon as he can get them.