What is there to life now?

[tetti]

I don't want to sound depressing,I'm normally a pretty happy person:-),but having been a single mum after 13 years with the same guy,I wonder what life holds for me now?

Right,this is my day,I get my daughter up for school,then I wait for the 2 kids that I mind during the days to turn up,I take my daughter to school with them in tow.Spend the day looking after them until it's time to pick up my daughter.Get back home,parents come to collect their kids,I make dinner and put my daughter to bed.
Now,how exciting is that?

I do enjoy my work,I love my daughter more than life itself,but apart from the contact I have with other mums in the area,that's it.
How on earth do I get to meet a new man this way?(well,I never get to go out to let my hair down,used to love going to gigs,go out for the odd drink etc,but now my life is just centred around my home)

One do miss having adult company too,having someone to talk to at night and someone to share things with (and someone to cuddle up to at night!:-)
It's definetly hard to adjust to that side of being single,isn't it?

Well, all I can offer you is this story of my mum, she was on her own from the time I was 3 and my bro was 1 (i.e. in 1975).

At a toddler group she met a lovely woman who is still her best friend. In 1979, the best friend was looking for a new house to buy. She went round to see this house (where she has lived ever since) and thought "this guy selling the house - due to a divorce - would do very nicely for my friend".

She dragged my mum round on the grounds of measuring up for curtains or some such, and my mum and the seller were married six months later! He is my much loved step-dad without whom my life would be much poorer.

I am very good friends with the woman's later-arrival daughter (she's now 22) who has basically grown up in the house where my step-siblings grew up! All fabulously complicated, isn't it? But just so you know, it only takes a toddler group.

That is a lovely story Tribpot, so there is hope for us all then!

Something I have learned in the two months since (not-so)dh walked out is how much I compromised my own personality just for him. How much of me and what I wanted I denied just to suit him and look where it got me. I am so much more relaxed, yes my life is one continuous round of childcare and housework but I hope to get a job soon (big interview next Tuesday.) That will get me back out of the house and amongst adults.

I have started to enjoy being just me, being able to do what I want to do, watch what I want when I want. I take dts out on days out and we spend as much time as we like doing things.

I have had a couple of possible date situations but I have decided that I like it just being we three at the moment. And if it remains so then it isn't so bad, we are all healthy, we are all happier without him in our lives. It is stressful being a single mum, no kidding but I have this goal to work toward and that is to make sure that dts end up as confident, happy young men who are content with who they are and never feel the need to lie and cheat.

tetti what about getting a job outside the home where you get to see other adults so its not just home and children for you, what about working in an office or a shop ?

Tetti, sounds like you are missing adult company generally, rather than just wanting a boyfriend. What about pursuing an interest via an evening class or something similar? As twoifbysea says, one of the great positives to being single is the freedom to be yourself!

No,I am the sort of person who would hate working in a shop or an office(been there,done that,got the tshirt!),I run my own business which I am much happier with,am also planning to study psychology longdistance to fit in with my excisting job.As I sais in my post,I am actually happy with my job.
Evening courses etc isn't an option as I need to look after my daughter.A couple of nights out a month if her dad is looking after her is what I can get,which is not bad.
I get plenty of adult conversations with women in the same situation as me,but it would be good to actually meet someone nice,you know?

online dating? hasnt worked for me but it has for many people i know!

Hmm,thatäs an idea actually.Looked on MySingleFreind.com where I saw the profile of one absolutely gorgeous bloke!(god,I am soo fussy,aren't I? Hundreds of pictures and there is ONE that I find attractive).Failing that,I just have to start going to gigs again:-),always seem to attract a guy who's in a band,don't ask me why,but every man I have ever ´been out with always turn out to be a singer or a drummer(!),or involved in music somehow (although,I guess they are normally not known to be the most faithful types:-)