Benefits of only having one child?

[Kelcat9494]

As the title says really...

Don't need a bigger house, car etc etc
They get more of your time and attention
You get more time as one parent can lie in while the other gets up, one does bedtime one cooks
More money only one birthday party one lot of swimming, sports, cubs classes

Well, my DS sails and having two boats would be a nightmare.

When you grew up in a house with daily arguments about absolutely everything, not listening to your kids arguing with each other or having to referee that kind of thing is a god send.

Also if you suffer with mental health issues, the above is not only a god send, but defence against turning into your own mum and passing on your legacy to your innocent child.

If your child does any kind of sport or pastime at an elite level, you do not have a trailing sibling or the dilemma of how to fund two or more elite participants.

One child has made a mess of my body. I dread to think what a second would have done. After one child I still have a chance of at least partial recovery.

Being a parent of one is just easy compared to 2+. More money, more time, less stress, easier to get overnight babysitters. All the onlies I know seem to be more mature and independent at a younger age than their peers with siblings too.

More of everything. More time, more attention, more money, more holidays, more hobbies just more of everything. DD is off to Uni in August and she’s been able to choose the uni she wants abroad because we can pay for it as she’s the only one!

I have 4 and honestly I can see so much benefits to just one! Not having to spread your time between all children so you can put all your time and energy into one, no fighting or arguing. Easy to get babysitters (no one wants to baby sit 4!) and remember siblings don’t always get on and end up as best friends, I don’t talk to any of mine and my kids are always arguing etc. More money.

If you're on Facebook there is a group called my first, my last, my everything which is for parents of only children (and big gaps) but mostly only children.

I have one, not by choice however circumstances dictate she'll like remain an only. 2 miscarriages and I'm now 43.

There are many benefits in my opinion like full attention, holidays, sleepovers with friends and family. She is literally my best friend.

However I would like a second...

In our case being able to pay private school fees.
But the main one is no sibling rivalry/fighting! We spent last weekend with a friends who have two and the fights were constant and exhausting.

As an only child I had it all - pony, private school, undivided attention but, sorry, I would have traded every one of those for a sibling.

Now, as an older adult with very elderly parents, I still wish I'd had siblings.

That’s sad Haffdonga but this thread is about positives? Some people can’t have any more so I don’t think your comment is helpful, my nephew is an only and he can’t stand being around my kids as he finds them annoying and doesn’t want a sibling, my mum had 6 and it was horrible never having any time with my mum because she was also so busy She clearly didn’t have the time and energy for all of us, and clearly had a favourite and the rest of us were all ways treated differently. Now I have no relationship with any of my siblings, so there is nothing to say that if you had a sibling you would have got on, my siblings are truly awful.

Yep. Fair enough. A bit of projecting going on on my part there. I guess.

Definitely no fighting. That would do my head in!
DS and I can please ourselves, nobody else to consider. Where to go, what to eat for dinner etc. Pretty easy.

Peace and quiet... my DS often comes home from visiting friends with siblings and always comments on how peaceful our home life is (that's not to say we don't have the occasional blazing row ) ... I would find it difficult to focus on more than one child, today we spent six hours watching him play cricket, I know that's not 'essential' (he's 19 ) but it's a nice thing to do. Having more children would split up our time & energy.

I know the argument always comes up about elderly parents but in my experience it nearly always ends up with one person daughter taking more responsibility.

It was a compromise only having one but wow, sometimes it's a breeze. There are hard bits having one (having to be everything for them, guilt) but just being able to do things for him (like whole days at athletics meets) with no stress is awesome.

You get really close to them, because you spend so much time together, if you're a lone parent that is. So it offsets need for brother and sister.

I have one teenage boy. Contrary to what some people think about only children, he is the kindest, selfless, mature & friendliest fella you could meet. He loves the peace & quiet after a crazy cousin weekend!

They have all your time and attention.

We have 3, but were discussing this at the weekend.
It's a bit morbid and tasteless, but think of the inheritance you can leave that one child, with no need to divide (if you're a homeowner)

You can host playdates/sleepovers for their social needs then pack the other kids off home and have stress-free time one-to-one. DD spent her early childhood begging for a sibling (she's not an only by choice, so that was hard) but aged about 8 started seeing the benefits and is now delighted to be an only. As a lone parent I think I would struggle with multiple children, my attention and finances would both have been too divided.

The only thing I can say is I haven't regretted having only one child. I always wanted three :-) but other things intervened. As it turned out, it suited us very well; things often do work out for the best.

Now I am seventy and on my own I am grateful not to have more than one person checking up on and trying to organise me !

I suppose economically it was easier to have only one but if we had had another child, we'd have managed so I can't think of it in that way. We didn't need a bigger house and I still live in my ordinary three bed semi (will probably die in it).

We had a lot of fun. I think you just have to make the most of what life brings you, we were more fortunate than many but did experience some hardship; at least we didn't have many people to worry about at that time and it passed.

I’m an only child....and I have two. And I know other families with only children and other families with multiple children. And I’m convinced that (with the possible exception of finances) there aren’t universal “pros” and “cons”. My DH is one of three and would have preferred to be an only child. My friend’s two kids bicker constantly. One friend has a very happy only child, another has a pretty lonely one for whom she is constantly seeking companions. My two are the best of pals and I don’t think they would swap the relationship they have with each other for any amount of extra money or attention. I liked being an only as a child, but find the burden of elderly parents difficult. It depends....

Oh I forgot my main reason! Getting to the end of "parenting" quicker
I know realistically it never ends, but DS is nearly 10 so there's no way I'm going back to the beginning now!

Oh I forgot my main reason! Getting to the end of "parenting" quicker
I know realistically it never ends, but DS is nearly 10 so there's no way I'm going back to the beginning now!