Is heartbreake a neverending story wuth you?

[chikenmother]

Sometimes I feel I will never get better, and cannot believe I will ever feel good again. There is always sorrow and dark memories inside, and life seems so unfair. I am alone with this? Divorced 6 years ago, 3 teen age children. A full time job a no time left for me...

If your children are teenagers and you work, what's to stop you going out of an evening or at the weekend? Why not take up an evening class? Gain a new skill, a qualification and some new friends!

Friends come with confidence and the more you go out, socialise, the more confident you get.

Organise a holiday for yourself, loads of people go on their own, there are even travel companies that cater for single people. Loads of friends are made this way. Analyse the way you are when you are with people, are you putting them off? Appearing negative? Being too open? Do you smile much? You need to give out positive vibes to draw people towards you, you might not notice the negative vibes but others do and they stay away.

There are things you can do. You just need to give yourself a good hard kick up the bum.

Sometimes I work at night. Evening classes or going out in the nights I stay at home are a bad idea...Yes, I sometimes feel very negative and must put other people away from me, but I do have a sense of humour and my fiends like to be with me.lves for a long time away. The problem is with me - I cannot go forward. I don´t want any extra skills because I feel I already do more things than I should do. The problem is INSIDE me. Not outside...

Perhaps you work so many hours to stop you from thinking about your current situation? Can you lessen your hours? I'm not saying join a night class so you can get a new skill, although that is always handy, but for you to make friends and have fun. Choose something that is completely unrelated to anything you do now, like clay modelling or morris dancing!

Write down a list of things that stops you from having some time of your own. Then write down what you can do to change those things.

You know, I am quite organised and can´t see how to reduce my current work hours or spare time. The problem is I am tired of listening to other people (I work with people!!), the only thing I can imagine me doing is some walking before supper time. But walking alone is very depressing...

So join a walking group! Or click onto Netmums or the local site of Mumsnet and go to a meet-up. You need to widen your social circle. You do need to do some sorting out as you are obviously not happy with the amount of time you have for yourself.

Trouble is, change doesn't just happen, it needs a push.

Thank you Rhubarb, you already helped me. It needs a push, you are right, I´ve been defending my self from pushes and it doesn´t improve. I´d like a meet-up with Mumsnet but I live abroad...too far away...

bumping for you to see if anyone else can help

I dont want to seem harsh but actually you are quite negative. I suspect oyu have done that thing where you get yourself into a negative mindset. If you dont feel you need more skills what about the gym, or soething for fun - surely there must have been something in your life that you really enjoyed just because you did. for me its painting. What about your kids? Can you not book a holiday with them. The one thing you need to stop is "thats a bad idea" "I cant do that" "Its not possible". Your life will change when you want it to and not before and if you want it to be difficult to get out and try new things then it will be. I sat where you are once and it is a horrible place to be, and one which i feel truly sympathetic but by the same token i wont come on here and give you loads of suggestions and ideas that you dont really want. Ask yourself what you enjoy. If you dont know then try lots of things. Incidentally on the time thing with the greatest respect like many women on here, i work full time, run my own company, attend uni three times a week and clear the decks weekend days for my son. I love painting and cross stitch and i do all of it alone. My family arent in the position to help so i found a way round it and got out there. As did many many other women on this site - a lot of whom faced adversity i couldnt even imagine. So can you if you really want to, Its a question of time management and personal motivation. If you feel so unhappy you cant try anything and everything seems very black then you need to consider a chat with your doctor about extra help to support you through this phase. Lecture now over and absolute best of luck.

I did a thread a while back with tips I'd picked up on dealing with depression and regaining self control. It is here, hope it's of use.

Going to clasp onto the one thing you think you may like...walking. With an MP3 player in with upbeat tunes, or maybe a neighbours dog too, walking can be soul cleansing, rather than a time to reflect that you are on your own.
Chin up, love yourself first
Music on, good book in bath..

ahhhhh - the book in bath - my personal fabvourite!!!!!

I borrowed my most recent read from a very nice quite handsome man...you never know where a book may lead

You are fantastic people, and so right on what you suggest. I decided to find some ME time starting this week, to walk around my place. Now kids are at school and some rules came back and that helps too. I`m sure I will get better as soon as I can look forward with some optimism too. The problem is inside me, I know. But you helped me, you sure did.Tomorrow I have shopping to do (food...) but will buy a new book and start reading it as a new satrt too. Thank you all, Thank you very veru much. It´s good to feel some simpathy and realise that someone out there can understand me...Love u all.

Let us know how you get on, ok? We ARE interested and we DO care.