Can anyone tell me how to get on with my life a year after my husband walked out?

[izziash]

Hi! New to all this so please excuse the goofs!
A year ago my husband of just over 6 years left me 4 months after having my gorgeous son. We had been trying for ages for children but he said he couldnt cope, didnt like the way i didnt have enough time for him, and moaned that i didnt want sex anymore. As i didnt know what i was doing being a first-time parent all my time and energies went into doing just that. I wont allow myself to react to his jibes and comments or nor will i allow myself to hate him for my sons sake. I still meet up with him at the weekends so that we can go out as a family, but probably because of this i cant seem to get over him. I am 99% sure that i dont love him, i just dont seem to be able to move on with life. I'm not really interested in finding another man in my life but would just like to get my head to move on, but cant! Does anyone have any suggestions/comments! Thanks (smile)

I really feel for you izzi, but what does he expect? You have just had a baby FFS! This makes me really when I hear stories like yours. He was man enough to make the baby, he should be man enough to be able to 'cope' with these major changes in all your lives.

You wont get over him as long as you still do things as a family also it will start to be confusing to your son that it seems you are still a family but not. Think you should come to set access arrangements where your ex has your son on his own and you then start to move on, you dont have to hate your ex but just accept that you are no longer together, he doesnt sound much of a man if he could be jealous of his own son taking all of mummies attention

I didn't want ex to have access on his own to start with when we broke up, and that was only four months ago, but now I realise I need that time for me. I put myself first now (after my girls of course), not him

Get your hair cut, buy new clothes, redecorate your house, start listening to new music, doing new things and seeing new people (not necessarily romantically). These visible changes will give him the signal that you have moved on, whether you believe it deep down or not. He will start to treat you differently and you will start to act differently. Encourage him to have 1:1 time with your son, and make sure you use that time to do something for yourself.

That's the practical stuff. On an emotional level, I think you have to act tough until you start to feel tough. Hardest thing in the world!