Advice please!! Daughter doesn’t want to go to Dads

[DancingQ]

My 5 year old has always been a daddy’s girl and would always love going to his house! Up until
recently it would come to Friday pick ups and she’s been getting emotional saying she doesn’t know what she wants to do or who she wants to stay with.

My mum had her for me one night this week (We are in a bubble and she didn’t want to go to her dads) and broached the subject of why she doesn’t like going to daddy’s house. She told her that he’s always shouting and tells her off. She is a very well behaved child so I do not need to discipline/tell her off often.

I’ve had a chat with my daughter about it and asked her if she wants me to speak to Daddy about the shouting, she’s said she doesn’t want me to? What do I do? I feel like if I do speak to him about it he will get defensive and then he’ll try and ask DD why she’s saying those things and she will feel like she can’t tell me things! I’m so stuck

Could you say to him she’s been feeling a bit emotional this week so maybe she needs a gentle weekend with lots of positivity to help her. That way you’ve haven’t blamed him or mentioned anything she’s said.

Wise words DragonLegs just let Dad now she is feeling a bit emotional at the moment with all the virus stuff going on, and could he be a bit more gentle with her.

Also maybe ask him if he is ok , maybe he is worried about work and money, and may not be his usual self , and maybe she is picking up on that.

You could also say that as a five year old, she has a lot to cope with, going back to school, and the disruption to her routine. Coronavirus has caused a lot of upset for small children that he needs to keep a lookout for.