Someone please give me strength

[dontworryyouvegotyourmummy]

Me and my ex fiancé have just split due to the constant verbal and physical abuse. I have had 3 1/2 years of none stop and about a week ago, I simply couldn't cope with it anymore. He is an alcoholic and has major anger issues, too.

I finally found the strength to leave. I've had to flee with our two children and go to my parents as he refuses to go. He asked if he could have the children overnight tonight which I have agreed to, I really don't want to be that person that stops him from seeing the children, but I was so worried as the day we'd split, the children (2 toddlers) hadn't been properly looked after whilst I was in work and I thank god that I was too upset to stay in work (from yet another trauma of the abuse he spouts) so went home. He is a liar, narcissist and a bully. I am not upset about leaving him, but I am upset and worried for the children, it's the first night without them, I miss them... although they are in good hands with ex's mum being there with him tonight too. He is still messaging me abuse, but if I were to block his number, I would receive further abuse for doing that as if there was a problem with the kids, he wouldn't be able to get hold of me.

The kids and I are effectively homeless, I may not be able to keep up with work as well as being a single parent, also worried about how I will afford a place on my own with the children, especially since I will be starting from scratch in terms of property contents. Please give me strength and guidance that things will be ok for me and that my crying now and feeling like this won't last forever

Hi OP. That sounds very tough, but well done for getting out.

You might want to copy your post and put it in Relationships as I think that section is busier. Other posters will have better advice than I can give, but keep on keeping on.

I wish there was something I could say or do to make your pain go away...I'm heavily pregnant with my emotionally abusive exs baby so I know your pain. Things work themselves out we might not be able to see that when were in the thick of it but they will.

Do not react to his messages that is what he wants my ex used the same tactic but he will get bored. You need to go to court to get something in place. I dont have much advice but I can tell you that it does get easier as time goes on.

I hope that someone comes along with more practical advice but just remember you arent alone x

You have been so brave walking away. And you clearly have a supportive family behind you. Don't back down now.

It is good his mother is supporting him with the children. I hope that reassures you a little. I know how hard it is. My children are older. And both tell me their dad shouts and lives in a dump. They never shower or brush their hair or teeth. And sleep on his bedroom floor next to him and ow/gf. But it's one night a fortnight. So I don't sweat the 'small' stuff.

Get advice and support. Phone Womens aid. Get legal advice and support of your GP. Get counselling to stay focused.

Go through CMS for child support. And check out the turn2us website for benefits. UC will pay up to 85% of your childcare so you can remain in work.

Be strong and go grey rock with him. Only engage about the children as necessary. Agree contact. But don't be afraid to stop it and tell him to take you to court if necessary. Keep a diary about the abuse and any welfare concerns you have.

You have done the hardest bit. Gather good people around you and let them help and support you.

Well done for getting out. You’ll find the strength to cope.

I found that forwarding my ex’s abusive texts and emails to his mum was useful. .