Parenting and contact

[Parenting1]

Exp is asking to have dc every weekend from Friday to Sunday. He lives 45 miles away, my issue with this is when dc is in school they won't be able to spend time with me, their extended family on my side or school friends. I offered Friday - Monday but he can't drop DC back on the Monday. How likely is a court to offer every weekend?

Also in regards to parallel parenting, exp constantly harassed me and been abusive, it affected my mental health, even seeing his name gives me anxiety. So I got a family member to send and deal with all emails for me, hand overs, her well being etc unless it's an emergency. Am I being unreasonable in having a third party deal with communication? Can court make me be the one doing the communication?

Every weekend is not reasonable or fair!
Pretty cheeky that he wants the fun time but none of the wrote/after school hard parenting work. I don’t think he would be likely to be given every weekend in court.
Going through a third person is fine as far as I am aware and sometime it is recommended.

Have you had mediation around agreeing a contact arrangement?

@AIMD, well exactly, all the fun time basically where it won't affect his work. On top of that wants half holidays too. Not really bothered about what's best for dc either.

I have to do Third person, if not it's him trying to get back with me, trying to start arguments in front of dc etc. So this is the only way I can think of doing it while saving my own sanity in the process. But he is going on at my relative about how it is fine to go through them for now but this needs to change.

Been through mediation, mediator said because of abuse it isn't suitable.. so exp now threatens court.

If there is a history of abuse I really don’t think the court would make you make arrangement directly if there is a third person available to act as an intermediary.

Is he likely to go to court or is this just something he is threatening.

I mean court is a lot of money. Possibly he is trying to control you by threatening to go to court. More reason to keep going through someone else. I assume you are keeping any copies of abusive or harassing text?

@AIMD he is be bothered about the money, anything he can do to keep me in line.

He definitely would take me to court, as he says this is his child and he can do as he pleases with them.. it's very much the same for me. Anything he can do to make me suffer even if it costs him money.

Ah parenting1 that’s awful. Have you spoke to a domestic abuse charity. If not it might be worth making contact to see if they have specialist advice about managing child contact with an abusive ex.

I have @AIMD, it's the same over and over again. Says he wants to see dc more (every weekend) but has dropped weekly video calls as they negatively impact DC but wants us to have direct contact to give dc a secure environment. I've already said there is no need for us to communicate directly, so long as things get communicated doesn't really matter how. Would much rather that than my mental health take a hit again.

I'm just sitting hoping if I don't react, let me relative deal with contact that he will get bored. Still the thought of court so he can further control me does terrify me

Let him take you to court. EOW plus half the holidays would be reasonable (who moved 45m away?) in view of the distance. Every weekend means zero quality time with you, which is unacceptable. Make sure you communicate by text/email so you have a note of what he's doing.

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a bit of guidance really..
My baby's father walked out when my baby was 5 days old, whilst we were living with my mum. Had minimal contact due to COVID-19 since then and I have ended the relationship. He is now claiming 50% parental rights but my concerns are that he is a regular drugs and alcohol user and has anger issues.
Anyone know what my legal rights are? Or who I should contact? I don't have the money for a solicitor.
P.s sorry to add to this thread but I couldn't find where to add a thread.