Advice needed

[Nanny15]

So my 2 year old sees his dad 2 days a week diff days each week, when he comes home he cries screams makes himself heave and hits me and anything near him, he says mummy mummy over and over when i try to cuddle him he says no no no and hits and kicks. He will go to his older brothers though? It goes on for about an hour or 2 then hes back to his usual happy cuddly self, till the next contact. Me and his dad dont have a great relationship either but i dont show that. Any advice on what to do or what could be going on, hes not seen him for 11 weeks through lockdown other than facetime, so for the last 3 weeks this has been happening?? And the ex is asking for more time and overnighs even though we have a court order and follow that. Any help would be appreciated

I'm not sure what to suggest but does sound very worrying. If it were me I would take the toddler to a child therapist if you can afford it and they might teach you how to support your son through whatever is causing it. Definitely something to do with the sudden change I think. Maybe he thinks you might leave him after bonding with you for all those weeks? I would stick to the court order and let your ex dispute it through the courts if he wants it changed and you can bring up your concerns there with the backing of a child therapist. Even if it is put of your budget they might have a sliding scale? These are just suggestions. Also the children's centres sometimes have help with those kinds of things and they might be opening again soon and you can call them also. Hope he settles back in soon- these are really disruptive times!

Also....I just remembered my dad watched a psychology show that said toddlers only have a four week or so memory so he might be frightened by being left with someone who he now views as a stranger. It might be that you have to spend some regular time with his dad with your son (really hard I know- but maybe the contact centre can help- or just meet somewhere neutral in the park) so he can regain a sense of trust? hope it helps

Thanks for the reply and suggestions, the problem i have is i cant even discuss this with his dad because all i get is "hes fine with me" , we cant even talk about anything its all through email. We meet for handover in public because of domestic violence.
He last seen his dad 2 days ago, yesterday ds woke said dada i said no mummy today he smiled said mummy, he had a little wobble in the afternoon but thats it and nothing at all today. Im going to see if it happens again next week.ive rang my health visitors for help and advice too

It sounds difficult. I can understand- I have a dad for my baby who doesn't want to discuss anything which I think is important, either.
It sounds like he is starting to settle back in now even if he was a bit confused, which is good. Hopefully it will get better for you all and the health visitors will be helpful :) feel free to rant if there's any more difficulties :)

This is how it normally goes thenwhen he sees his dad for the 2 days he has the crying and smacking after a day of not going his dads hes fine again? I think hes really confused to be honest z