From useless dad to devoted father

[MumtoOne1989]

Anyone's had experience with their ex being completely useless, flakey dad's and then completely doing a full 360 and becoming great dad's?

Trying to live in hope here

Nope.

Nope he left when I was pregnant.
Came to see ds for first 18 months only when he wanted to, resigned from his job so he didn't have to pay csa (refused to claim benefits for same reason and lived off ow more fool her). Ds contacted him in early teens met twice his father didn't want to be there, brought his 3 kids one time (who misbehaved all the time) ds came away from second meeting saying I'm better off without him. So in our case no. But maybe some do. My df is a better grandad than father.

Yes for about two year and then back to the crap again.

It went like this:
First broke up, visited eWO and one day in the week- missing some contact

New gf - missing loads of contact them wanting dc around her non stop

Went to court- not about her but other things. He fought nasty until they broke up.
Final order we actually went to court together.
He was great great for about two years.
Bad again due to new gf's- a lot

I eventually got a new bf after about 7 yrs, he was then back to being great great again.

He got a new gf, brought her around straight away but no big deal dc are older, he showed off a lot for 6 months then back to not bothering.

I have a feeling they maybe on a rough part because he's been interested in the dc again, see them one day every weekend.

When I refer to bad, missing contact, dragging them to pubs, never coming to school events, going from bowling and eating out to the dc sat in front of the tv all day every contact.

Hope that help.
I just let him do what he wants when the dc got older 7 up because you can't make them parent better you can only do your best and fighting against their crap parenting only stresses you and the dc

So @GroovyGrove you found your ex worse when he had a gf?

My exp is a narcissist, as in actually one, so hasn't ever been great with dd. Realise I need to just let him get on with it unfortunately, but hoping he'd step up at some point.

@MumtoOne1989 it starts off with him showing of and taking them fun stuff and spending money like he dropped £180 on a coat for no reason ( it was a light designer jacket while giving me the same in support) then once the gf is around for a while he stops and it's about them dc fitting in to his boring life again.

My dc are 15 and 13 so I've seen it all.
You do need to just let it go, don't think I haven't had my moments! I have like when ds13 was going through this depression stage, and I begged ex dp to help because ds would even see him and I was lost. He did fuck all as usually' your the Rp not me!'

He's just a selfish fuck.

But if your dealing with what I think you are then you really need to not let him show you are bothered.
Have a great relationship your side and just offer support.

Ds 15 told me the other day that he sees he df as a mate and he's taught me how to not pay support or take responsibility. He wasn't even mad ds was just stating facts