Birthday & Christmas presents for kids when you're divorced

[Liz79]

How do you do it? It is all still quite new to us. We're amicable and split the cost of music lessons and school trips etc when they were on. Do you buy presents from mum and dad buys his? or do you go halves on it and the presents are from mum & dad/santa?

If you get them separately do you set a budget and discuss what you've both got to avoid both getting the same gift or one spending FAR more?

STBEH moved out as lock down started and ds had his birthday in April. He wanted us all together when he woke up, so I stayed at his dad's house, which was shit but ds was happy. We went halves on gifts then. Don't know if that's for the best

DSD gets separate presents, unless there is something big she wants that her mum/we couldn't afford individually.

She was only a baby when they split though so wasn't used to having parents together on her birthday/Christmas - so we've always done present opening separately at each house.

How old are your DC?

They're 10 and 12. Does your dh talk to their mum about what he's got them so she doesn't buy the same?

We have been separated three years. We both do our own thing. But things aren't amicable. (2,years without child support). So I'm not inclined to do joint things as I am not sure if I would see the money.

Amicable divorce.
Separet presents from mum and another one from dad.
Who bought something first let another one know, so we wont buy the same thing. Only when was time to get a new bike we got one and another family got anothet (not identical) as the BD present.
I believe there can not be a common rule. Everyone person/family has different preferences.

Not amicable divorce due to Ex's behaviour around DD, he then moved on to attempting to buy her affection.
Totally separate presents - he spends far more than me even though he supposedly has virtual no income.

We still give joint presents to our DC, despite being separated for 5 years. Started as my ex wanting us to still be united for the kids, although actually stems from him being too tight to pay for gifts and thinking I should do it because I earn more than him. I’ve gone along with it for the sake of the kids, except they’ve realised it’s actually me that funds it all lol ...... probably not much help to you but I feel better for having a moan !

Given we are amicable I think joint presents would be fine if he paid his half

Amicable split 5 years ago, we gave one teenager, we get mostly joint presents and then often just one little inexpensive but meaningful thing that’s just from me and one that’s just from him. Get together to open them all too apart from those ‘one little things’.

Separate presents. We set our own budgets. (He can afford to spend far more as he pays no CM)
I think we had brief discussions when they were small to avoid buying doubles but ultimately I just made sure I was prepared to return my gifts if needed.
Much easier now they are older as they tell everyone who asks different things that they want.