Single mum judgement

[PumpkinP]

I am a single mum to 4, my sister seems to have an issue with me having 4, I feel like she is constantly making digs and trying to make me feel bad, this has been going on for some time now and I usually try to ignore it but today has just got to me.

So a friends brother has just been sent to prison and I said what the hell was he thinking and he needs to take some responsibility and she said “well some people might look at you and think what was she thinking, why does she have 4 kids” how on earth is it comparable to a crime?! I’m just sick of being made to feel bad, does anyone else get this or is it just me? Can’t help but feel that if I wasn’t single then I wouldn’t get these comments. She makes a lot of digs and sly comments but this one just got to me.

It's not you, it's her.

Definitely not you. I'd distanced yourself from her for a while.

Are you responsibly looking after your four children? Do you have a job? Sufficient money to cover their needs/desires?

Did you plan to have four children while single? It can't be easy, and I can see your sister's point. Not that it is comparable to a crime, but it is still questionable, unless we know the full circumstances. (which presumably your sister does).

I have more than 4 dc op. Is stopped giving a shit what people thought /said many years ago. I am proud of my dc - proud they are mine. You should be too.
I was single for a while some years ago.
Never expected to meet a decent man but I did. And even if I hadn't , so what? I bet your dsis is a bit envious of you...

No I’m not working, 2 of my children have disabilities so I had to give up work.

People will often judge things if they lack insight wisdom and life experience. Even a sister. Sad but true. Just hold your head up high praise yourself and continue to do your awesome best which no doubt you are already doing! Separate from your toxic sister as much as possible you don't need that kind of crap in your life you really don't.

I have a cousin who continued to judge but she has always lived in a very privileged and pampered wife bubble. Entrenched in 1950's views. I only have one child too for God's sake. Hardly the scandal of the century in this day and age to start with!

People are often quick to judge what they don't understand. It just makes them look very smallminded and lacking in wisdom and life experience.

Wow - your sis is so unreasonable, I can understand why you are so upset by her comments.
No one can tell the future and people can have multiple children then for whatever reason the relationship with the mum or dad fails, its call life.
As pp has said - distance yourself from her for a bit and start focusing on the fact you look after 4 children with v little support from their father (I've read some of your previous posts) also having 2 that have different needs, you deserveva medal, not criticism esp from those who are meant to support and love you

Thank you both. She does seem to have real issues with it but I’m quite good at brushing them off usually. My children all have the same father and he became mentally unwell and left me and hasn’t bothered with them since, I didn’t predict I would end up being a single mum. I don’t need her constant negativity and put downs. And going back to pp asking me if I work and she would “know the full circumstances” she had a baby at 16 she obviously wasn’t working then, I could judge her and constantly berate her for having a baby at 16 but I don’t as I’m just not like that, she is someone who judges people but doesn’t think any of it applies to her.

Tell her to piss off.