Whilst on facetime last night DS9 told his dad that he had sent him a letter. His dad hasn't seen him or his sister for 8 weeks and from his comments to the kids doesn't plan to any time soon. I don't get told.
DS is being investigated through OT and school as he struggles with his writting, they think its dyspraxia, but the lock down has slowed any diagnosis.
On being told his DS had written to him his dad asked if he had written it. DS said no typed (we had had a long day or schooling which included writing practice than ended up with him getting upset). He just wanted to write to his dad and even printed him off a crossword about startwars as they both love it.
Dad simply responds I don't want a letter if you didnt hand write it. His DS13 tried to explain if it hurts school are encouraging him to type so that english work does not become associated with pain.
The call finished and DS was a little upset but also just kept saying well thats dad isn't it. His acceptance at a below par dad is upsetting.
I can't help but wonder if that's how he sees all dads to be as his dad hasn't been in the home for nearly 5 years. He has commented on how dad always gets his own way, wants things exactly how he thinks they should be done etc. When they facetime DS panics if his dad can hear or see me if I walk through the room etc as his dad would get upset. We have a open plan house. I dont ever involve myself in the call but our house is tiny. I'm now sitting outside if the weather is OK or in my room when they facetime so as not to upset DS. I still feel controlled in my own house.
It all seems to surround his dads feelings. I don't want DS to accept that this is what a dad is. If he chooses to have kids he needs to do better.
Back story is dad left after getting caught having an affair. He moved straight in with his girlfriend over an hour away and doesn't involve himself in any day to day activities of the children. DS usually goes EOW and some holidays, DD has refused to go since last September. Their relationship isn't the best.
I have a partner (2 years), we dont live together as neither of us wanted to uproot the children. He is very involved with his children and it makes me feel sorry for mine.
My own parents are usually heavily involved with the kids, as they were with me.
Is it simply a case of wait and see and hope DS sees the difference? Do I say anything or just let him keep getting upset or as I see happening more and more DS just saying that's how dad is?