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Original poster

Absent father wanting contact again? Would you allow it?

26 replies

PumpkinP · 20/05/2020 17:52

Say your children’s father was absent for a period of time (it’s been about 3 years in this case and he has seen them 3 times in 3 years and the last time being a year ago) and then contacted you again asking for contact, saying they want to see their children, that they have changed and want a chance to be a dad. How would you expect them to prove themselves before you allowed it again? If you even would?

Ex has got in contact and I decided to hear him out and think about it but the last time I heard from him was a week ago now and I can’t help but think he should be contacting at least once a week to see how they are? But maybe I’m being unreasonable? What would you think/expect?

OP posts:
SpoonyFox · 05/11/2024 12:51

RayDoyle · 19/10/2023 16:21

I read a lot about absent parents getting in touch after many years and then being branded as useless rubbish. However, what of the case whereby absent parent wants nothing to do with child and is forced to pay maintenance and then after a period of decades child decides to intrude into your life without contacting you and thinks they can just arrive in your life? Not every one has ulterior motives, or wish to drop in on child. The effect works BOTH ways. you know. There is a lot of toxic attitude toward absent parents suddenly showing up - whether that is good or bad is not my issue. What the point here is that if you do not wish to ever see child then they should NOT be allowed to drop in on you ever - especially without prior contact or attempt at it. Some absent parents have moved on and have other lives and just as jumping in on child's life is attacked here, the same can be said for children becoming older and setting off on their odyssey to "find themselves" by causing upset and grief to the absent parent who has lived their life without them in it. It's not ALL blokes wanting to please themselves - we have lives too.

You’re insane. The BIG difference here is the parent chose to bring the child into this world not the other way round! Anyone with this thought process should not have had a child in the first place

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