Should I let my son see his dad.

[xxxbabyno1]

My son is 5 months old & hasn't seen his dad since before the lockdown.

We had many issues before the lockdown began anyway. He's not on the birth certificate as he went out the night before we were due to register him (my son was 9 days old) and took drugs, slept through the appointment and then when he finally showed up again he demanded I call and get his name on which I never agreed with and said I need to see he's dedicated to being a father before I done that.

He's been caught driving without a license for the second time and is due in court soon - he was asking to take my son out in his car weeks before this happened knowing fine well he never had a driving license.
He takes steriods and has anger issues. Refuses to pay any child maintenance (which I don't push for as I do everything myself anyway so may aswell deal with finances alone too.

When my son was very young his dad would fall asleep with him on the couch deliberately putting him at risk even though I begged him not to, he called him 'little shit' several times & ive even had to call police due to him pushing my son down by the chest while I tried to pick him up out his cot in the middle of an argument then refusing to leave my home.

He's saying he's taking me to court as he wants access which I never stopped until now however as time goes on I'm getting more anxious as I really don't feel my son will be safe in his hands alone. But on the other hand I want my son to have his father!

Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

The fact that you've called the police on him for pushing a baby down on the chest should be enough to ensure that any contact he has will be in a contact centre and supervised.

However...by the sound of him, he won't have the sticking power or guts to take you to court.

He sounds like a class A loser OP and you should remember that losers like him often threaten court....they almost never carry it through because it takes organisation, being on time for appointments and filling in lots of forms.

Is he someone who could do that? It doesn';t sound like it.

I advise you to keep records of ALL communication he sends you. Every text message etc.

But you shouldn't worry....he sounds incapable.

I would do what I could to ensure he didn't have contact. Write down everything in a secure place with dates in case you need to use it.
He sounds like he would be a terrible influence on your son and is in no shape to be decent enough role model as a dad to your boy.

Hell to the nope. I would take every step possible to keep your baby away from him. As for him taking you to court, he's full of shit. Sounds like he has enough court related things to contend with already.

@FortunesFave @ladybirdsarelovely33 @Aquamarine1029 thank you for all your replies! Definitely helped me see I'm not being unreasonable.

What I've written in the post isn't even half of it.
I've kept all messages etc however I've not exactly been kind in the messages either as I'm sure nobody would be dealing with him while full of pregnancy hormones & sleep deprived.

I can't see him making the effort to take me to court but the fear is still there that he may get to take my son on his own one day. Constant anxiety over the thought.

He can't take him. He's not even on the birth cert. He'd get arrested.

Even if he DID take you to court, the absolute most they'd say is that he could have half an hour of access under supervision in a special centre once a fortnight or something.

He has a criminal past and an arrest. What did the police say about his behaviour when you called them for pushing the baby?

@FortunesFave thank you for the reassurance.

He had done a runner before they got here, he was all 'call the police then I'm not leaving' then as soon as I dialled he ran off slamming the door in the huff (probably coz he was driving without a license which I didn't know at this point)
Police came round to check in anyway I was quite shaken up & just told me to call back if anything else happened.

After this my dad stepped in and sat with him while he seen my son (in my house) and I left to give him time with his son. However this lasted all of one week then he never showed.

Tell him to go fuck himself.
He won’t take you to court he’s all talk.
Keep every message every e mail.
If he shows up at your house call the police every single time.
And next time choose your children’s father more wisely.

Let a judge deem him safe enough.
As the dm you need to keep your baby safe.
You would be negligent in your responsibilities if you voluntarily allow any contact.

@Lllot5 thank you, and oh yes I've definitely learned my lesson there.