Ex not social distancing making me anxious

[notjustamother]

So it's come out this week that ex has not been social distancing,

He's had a friend round helping him do diy, had family round to his house and also been to families houses sometimes with our kids sometimes not.

I am really torn what to do, I have tried speaking to him about it and trying to explain he's putting the kids and also me at risk but it seems he doesn't care and thinks he's putting the kids best interests first. I am annoyed as I haven't seen friends/family/bf for a long time but obviously have been sticking to the rules, FaceTime only to keep us all safe and I feel like it's all been for nothing when he's so casually flaunting round.

We have a under 1 and also a child with one of the listed at risk diseases. I know the chances are they will be fine but I worry what if they are that small percent that aren't, I also worry what if it is passed onto me, how will I be able to look after the kids whilst being so ill as I know ex wouldn't take them knowing I had it plus he would prob have it himself. I just feel like we shouldn't be taking any chances but obv he doesn't feel the same.

I don't want to stop the kids going there but also I am really worried at being at risk now. I really don't know what to do I feel like I'm in an impossible situation.

If your child is in the vulnerable group as listed by the government then I think you are fully justified in keeping them isolated with you, if their father isn't following the guidance either for everyone and particularly for those at risk. The courts advice on this would back you up, as far as I can see.

Just to point out though, @notjustamother, that even if you did get it, the chances are you wouldn't be so ill you couldn't look after the children, unless you have any risk factors, and even then it's not a given.

I don't want to stop them seeing their dad that's a last resort I just want him to be sensible tbh but that's not going to happen, I just worry about if we are now being exposed. The rules are there for a reason surely? I know if I did decide to stop them seeing him I would be well within my rights, he has posted this all over Facebook also so there is proof. Stopping the kids seeing him will upset the kids though and also cause even more tension than there is already.

Maybe I am over worrying too, the three people I know that have had it one was bed bound and two ended up in hospital - these are healthy 30/40 year olds - a colleague and a mum from school. I also have family and friends in nhs so obv have heard the worst parts of it.

Speaking to the nurse my child isn't at any extra risk as far as we are aware of covid however it could complicate their illness so it would be likely a hospital admission would occur if they caught it. I just don't know why ex isn't taking it seriously.

I've been in a similar position - DS's Dad isn't taking it overly seriously, inc having his ex wife come and stay over the Easter weekend. I wouldn't mind so much but DS and I are both asthmatics.

I've made it clear from the beginning that I'm not comfortable with it, however I know he'll ignore me anyway. The first contact he turned up with 30 mins notice and off they went.

Two weeks later Ex asked to have him again, again I said I was worried but he could come, he chose to not.

This weekend he tried again, again I said the same, I'm not comfortable but can't stop him taking DS. All hell broke loose and he claimed he won't take him until I say I'm happy - in other words I have to lie or DS won't see his Dad. I wouldn't feel so bothered about it if I knew his Dad was taking it seriously but I know he isn't, so it's up to him to sort that out. In the meantime I have no idea when he'll next see DS. He's notorious for cancelling contact weekends anyway ( he didn't see him for 7 weeks prior to lockdown ) so sadly DS is used to it anyway