Hi
I'm fed up of arguing with my ex over this, and wondered if I could talk to other parents about it?
DS is 16. He usually sees his Dad once every 4 weeks. Prior to the lockdown he hadn't seen him for 7 weeks ( Ex's choice - busy etc). I say that just to show what sort of Dad he is generally. He's generally a fairly " rules don't apply to me" kind of person which means I struggle trusting him.
DS and I both have asthma - not shielding but being extra careful ( shopping deliveries if possible etc )
Ex lives 1.5hrs away. He also has two other children who live with his ex wife ( who he sees the same weekend).
So he saw him 4 weeks ago. I wasn't comfortable about it at all, and told Ex this, but he turned up anyway. DS came back 2 days later and was fine.
Two weeks later he wanted DS again to make up for the 7 weeks he didn't see him. Again I wasn't comfortable but acknowledge ( to him) that I can't stop him just turning up. He decided not to come.
So again he starts the conversation yesterday with regard to this weekend. " what's your thoughts?". Again I'm not comfortable - nothing has really changed regarding the virus, but nothing I can really say " oh well, I'm coming anyway"
I accepted that, but asked if there was anyway to split the children's weekends up. Not ideal I know, but I felt it might reduce the risk ( the other children's mum is a key worker - education). He initially said no, then said he'd look into it which I said I really appreciated. He then came back to me saying that it could be a possibility for this weekend.
Today I've asked if he's made plans yet - in other words is he having DS as normal, or has he found a way to see them separately.
His response was - I'm fed up of arguing. You're saying unless I split them I can't see DS (I'm not saying that!), so until you say you are happy for me to see him then I won't. So I'll wait till then.
I'm pissed off at this. The whole time I've made it clear I'm not happy but I don't feel I can say no. Of course I'm not happy! Is anyone happy at the moment?! I do however realise I have to suck it up. I'd just like, if possible, it to be done with minimal risk.
I feel angry that he's expecting me to say I'm happy about all this. Of course I'm not, I have no idea how DS and I will fair if we get the virus.
I know DS is 16, normally I'd leave him to it, however he's taking little interest in what's going on in the world currently so I feel I have to intervene - esp as health is involved.
Am I expecting too much?