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Ex taken children during pandemic

8 replies

0palfruit · 19/04/2020 09:19

So my childrens dad normally has the kids Weds for tea and Sat for the day. Overnight stays and longer periods are agreed depending on school holidays etc.

He has a flat nearby where he takes them but he also lives with his gf 80 miles away and often takes them there to her house, she has a daughter.

When lockdown was announced he suggested that he would come up every Saturday and have them overnight at his flat, but no longer do the Weds trip. Which I agreed to.

In the Easter holidays he was due to have them for a week for a family holiday for his mums 80th. Of course this was cancelled. He still wanted the children for a week though and wanted to take them to Wales to his gf house. I said no I didnt think they should be travelling to another household.

Yesterday he picked the kids up as usual, and then text me to tell me he has gone to Wales anyway and he is not bringing them back for a week! I hadn't prepared them or packed for them and also I hadn't bloody agreed to it. I was so distraught yesterday.

Please can someone help/advise?

OP posts:
MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately · 19/04/2020 09:20

He shouldn't be travelling anyway. Police I would say.

DocusDiplo · 19/04/2020 09:22

What a twat! Sorry you have to go through this. Completely reckless and immature and disrespectful!

To be honest though, it's done now. Do you think they will be OK? How old are they? If you believe they're safe and happy enough, just sort it out after the lockdown.

Or do you have bigger concerns?

Cross on your behalf!

maddy68 · 19/04/2020 09:24

Travel for co-parenting is allowed. Tbh it would be more sensible to change the arrangements and have longer stays to reduce travel during this time. In my opinion

Grobagsforever · 19/04/2020 09:24

@MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately FFS do not waste police time.

Mumsnet!

MysteryFrog · 19/04/2020 09:29

Whilst it’s not ideal in the current situation, if he lives with them then it’s technically fine, travel is allowed between parents houses. Presumably he’s there with them on the days he doesn’t have the kids anyway. Obviously it’s upsetting for you but not much you can do about it. Also why would you pack for them when he has them for a week? He should be providing everything for them when he has them.

0palfruit · 19/04/2020 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/04/2020 11:46

What he's doing is allowed.

Sorry for you though, he's still a dick Thanks

0palfruit · 19/04/2020 11:48

They will be ok there, that I cant argue. However it's no longer school holidays and they should be homeschooling tomorrow but he hasn't taken any of their school books and wont be doing any of that with them. Another week off from it wont be the end of the world and like you say they are there now anyway.

However, the bigger picture is I'd just be letting him get away with taking the kids without agreeing to it. I just cant trust him, he literally sent me a message a couple of weeks ago saying for everyones safety he would only see them at the weekends at his flat, not drive them back and forth to another household. Yet yesterday he just took them without any agreement! Because he has been told he can work from home and his partners daughter is bored he wants my kids there to entertain her. It's just selfish behaviour. He has behaved like this before and I just cannot trust when he has them when he will bring them home.

If I dont put my foot down this ignoring me and doing what he wants just continues and causes me so much upset.

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