Finding it hard today

[BighouseLittlemouse]

Hi everyone

Just posting to get it out really.

I’m a single mum to two DC 8 and 5. Ex had an affair and moved in with OW 2 years ago.

Have kept it amicable for the sake of the kids. Ex still sees them regularly during lockdown and have tweaked the routine a bit as he doesn’t want to have them when working (and not really anyway I can force it). Since lockdown I’ve been juggling working full time and trying to handle the kids ( one also has mild SEN).

They went to his on Thursday morning - were meant to come back to me this evening, so I could do Easter tomorrow and have a day with them when not working. 8 year old just rang to say they’d like to stay there until tomorrow evening because it’s more fun with daddy and G/f. Obviously I said Ok in a cheery voice!

Just feel a bit broken by it which I know is silly. He has a big house and garden - and I can see how that’s way better for the kids when locked down. But it’s brought back all the feelings that he can offer them so much more materially than I can. Feel like I’m the one that struggles on trying to work whilst trying to get them do some school work, he gets to be fun for the Bank holiday. Like he is living with his g/f the life we were meant to have.

So sorry, that sounds really painful but you are a wonderful mother by hiding your pain, responding cheerily and putting the kids first. I know that can’t have been easy when what you want is to have them home and having fun with you instead of having to do all the serious stuff. I have a couple of friends who’s Exes are ‘fun dad’, it’s very unfair.

You are an incredible strong mother. And your children will see that.

My situation growing up was the same. My dad was the Disney dad. Lived in London. Did the days out and holidays.

My mum struggled to get by. She taught us how to cook. Sew and grow things in the garden. We did picnics and bus trips. And our days were filled with lots of love and happiness.

I know which parent made the greater sacrifices

You are setting them an amazing example of being strong. Independent and self less.

Thank you both!

Think it all got to me yesterday. Kids back this evening so looking forwards to that ( and trying to finish the cleaning!).

Hope everyone has a good day today