During Coronavirus - should my child still visit their father?

[Bumpandus]

Hi after some advice and if anyone is in similar situation.

So government advises that parents can move children between houses if parents are separated.

I have decided to keep my child at home and have done for 2 weeks...but unsure if I am doing the right thing?

Can totally understand if there is just the parents and the children involved BUT...

Ex partner has an older child who lives with his mum. This mum has another child with another father. Both of her children are still visiting their fathers (so one of them is my child’s sibling) how is this safe? Doesn’t this mean 4 different households will be mixing if I sent my child too?

Also my ex is living with his mum during the lockdown as he is having issues with his water. His mum is a key worker so is looking after vulnerable people daily. (Also this would mean 5 households mixing?)

Just tell me am I doing the right thing? Be honest!

Also I am at home completely on my own with two kids no partner and am also working from home so it’s not easy for me to keep hold of my child I’m doing it for safety and to support government guidelines surely?

Thank you.

I do understand - I have had the issue from the other side - my ex had the dts (15) from the beginning of the lockdown. We have had a shared care arrangement which means normally they spend three nights a week at his. He kept them for three weeks as he’d decided the risk was too high sending them back and forth. This was even though me and dh are taking every possible precaution when we leave the house. I wasn’t prepared for them to stay away without an end date.

Can you explain how?

Not sure what you mean?

Oh dear mumsnet...

You crucify fathers for suggesting that their child shouldn't visit due to increased risk because children need routine and stability in these trying times, but it's perfectly okay for the mother to stop contact due to increased risk regardless of whether the child would benefit from the routine and stability (which is a subjective opinion depending on which perspective and angle you look at it from)...

@bumpandus we also have the same situation. We have multiple DCs, one of whom is high risk. DDs dad is a keyworker so high risk themselves and lives with his partner who is also a keyworker. They are not self isolating, due to work. She could, technically, still go to see him every other week. But would then be putting our other DCs at risk. We all agreed, including her father, that it was best she stays with us for now. They are facetiming daily and I am expecting she stays with him for longer over the next holiday than usual.

It’s actually working well now I still understand his frustration but we are getting on well he is doing the odd job when he can with being self employed and seeing his older son from a different relationship: our little one is safe and as soon as this is over she will go there for as long as he wants. It’s all about safety

You definitely have to make up for the lost time. FaceTime is a poor substitute for real face-to-face interaction.

@Mum56347 I completely agree. I’ve said he can choose however long he wants when the restrictions ease hopefully in may. So if he says 2 weeks that’s fine or whatever for example.

Although he is back at work now so I don’t think he would be able to have her for more than the weekend anyway and I’m supposed to be working from home so could do with him actually having her in the week. She’s with me at the minute anyways as she has underlying health conditions and it awaiting surgeries.