Think I've peaked in this lockdown

[isobel79]

I should be grateful for so many things. I'm finding this lock down so tough with a four year old. I'm sitting here in my living room and he's upstairs watching TV. He doesn't want to play in the garden. Doesn't want to do any colouring. Everything is say its "no" so am trying to be stricter. I'm tired. I'm just fed up and I know everyone is in the same situation but I'm even now going on the Internet checking to see when this lock down will be over 😥

I'm sorry, it's rough going. I'm not a lone parent but I have a toddler with ASD and a baby. My youngest is a social butterfly who loves being out. They're both difficult cooped up all day. My son is a million miles an hour and constantly running, jumping, climbing, etc. It's hard to engage him with activities. They're both super whiney.

I'm struggling, and have cried 3 times this morning. The uncertainty of when this is over doesn't help. No advice but I can offer you a virtual hug at the very least.

Do what you can to get through the day. Hang in there.

Thank you LP.
Yes it's tough..... Virtual hug to you too.
I should be grateful that I've woken up today where some people haven't. I think I should be so grateful after all this lock down is over. 😔It's just not having that usual outlet you would normally run too

I know what you mean. I'm trying to be grateful for the small things but we're only human. Little children are not meant to be cooped up all day. Obviously it's important why but they're supposed to be out, running around.

Do you have any close friends nyou can video chat to as well? I know it's not the same, but might bridge that gap enough for now.

It's mentally challenging. Is there anything your kid will do?

Well I work from home wed Thurs and Fri so I have that social contact.
I think I might just sit outside after lunch and read a book. Maybe he'll join me who knows 🤔
I hope that you are getting some u time?

I hear you. I'm a LP to DS11 who is bright as a button and I'm struggling to even do minimal home Ed with him. He's glued to his tablet. I also have DD who is four months old so takes a lot of my time and means DS gets away with more than he should do.

DD is teething and has the four month sleep regression going on so I'm knackered. She also used to sleep in her pram during the day but this can no longer happen. Pram needs to be moving and outside and we have little outside space. Just feel at the end of my tether already. Usually her dad comes over to see her and give me a break a couple of times a week. This can't happen at the moment and I really don't know how I can continue like this long term.

I know everyone is in the same-ish boat but just the lack of adult social interaction, lack of chill time walking, overtired baby from lack of naps due to no walks out is already getting to me. I also can't drink due to bf!

It is hard. I'm a week ahead of most people because we were on self isolation til today. I've found Mondays to be so draining, almost like "here we go again" and I can't shake the feeling of walking through mud. Im OK today, Tuesday, almost felt like I needed a day to wallow and then start the next day afresh.

Take each day as it comes, don't look more than a few days ahead.

Go and sit in the garden, let DS know you're going out there. He may join you, or not.

Keep tasks short and sweet. A 4 year old is unlikely to sit and complete a task longer than 5-10 minutes.

Don't judge yourself on the amazing parenting you're seeing on social media. It's guff. You can't compare you, your DS, your personal circumstances and needs to anyone else.

Focus on a treat in the evening after he's in bed. Something simple but effective. Last night I hid a pack of jelly babies and ate them before the 16 year old food-hoover could snaffle them away.

I was in pieces yesterday, felt so isolated. I have an OH but we don't live together and it hit me hard that I was alone. Then my SIL called me and I could barely string a sentence together - I'd not had a physical conversation with an adult in 5 days!!!

We should be grateful... But that doesn't mean we aren't allowed to find things hard.

Meant to say, I've a 7 year old as well and I'm his everything at the moment and he's super clingy because he isn't seeing his dad (my ex) as he's a key worker and doesn't want to risk passing it on to DS.

Thanks for the responses.
I had a friend ask me how I was and I responded with how I was feeling today. She replied with "just going for a walk". Wish I hadn't bothered opening up!!!!

But yes because we've never been told that we can't leave our house makes us want to retaliate more. It's so hard. But I understand how you all feel.

I think it's right not to think further than a few days as you say. Just try and focus I guess x

It's horrible. I've had a really hard day today. 3yo deliberately trying to wind me up, doing the opposite of what she's told, demanding constant attention, while her younger sister, 10 mo, is constantly grumpy, climbing up on me, destroying everything the older one does. It's soul destroying and it's turning me into a horrible mother. DH's work have designated him a 'key worker' even though he really ducking isn't, so it's just me and them, every day. I'm genuinely not sure how I'm going to cope.

Sorry - just realised this is lone parents. So could be worse I guess.

Do you have a bath? I often find is my son is grumpy a bath relaxes and resets him

I think these youngsters lock into our frustrations and then make our lives ten times harder. It's hard for them as they don't get it but we do and it's so oooooooo oooooooo ooo hard!!!

There's also a lot of upset for the youngsters, which I think we can forget about (or at least I have found myself forgetting)

They've gone from a set routine, friends, family, trips out etc to being In The House and in some ways all their dreams coming true (TV, Internet, food treats, 1 on 1 with mum and /or dad) so they're completely off balance.

So we're at a loss and we're dealing with unsettled children, in need of stability and security. I honestly think it's a shit show. There are no rules to follow, we're all making it up as we go along.

It's good to share ideas, but don't beat yourself up if your child doesn't want to participate. My boy has done minimal school work since he's been home, I wasn't in the right head space to become a teacher overnight (I'm crap at it!) so I've let us both have a few weeks to adjust and he managed 30 minutes today before he lost interest and started playing up and my very last bit of patience flew out of the window. We will try again tomorrow.

Also, I think friends are checking in on friends but really everyone has it shit, so maybe it's more of a "I'm checking in on you, but really I don't have the headspace for your worries on top of mine" situation. Which is awful when you need to offload, but understandable given the current situation.

Basically, I don't have any answers but I understand you and sympathise.

I'm switching my phone off now (if I don't I'll be constantly switching between apps and news etc) and watching some really good crap TV, like Bake Off or reruns of Friends.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Mrs castiel
Thanks for your message.
Today started bad. My son was up at 315am then wanted juice and biscuits at 4am and then didn't go back to sleep. I managed a sleep but had to wake to start working.

This whole thing has really flipped us all over and I think we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back that we've come thus far. I am just praying that soon it will ease a little. I do hope you've had a better day today

I was speaking to my SIL about all this earlier. She has a 3 yo who they recently adopted. She thrives on routine and this has all really upset the apple cart. They're using a "Now, next, later" board to help little one gain some control but also add structure to the day.

She sent me this link and a pic of their board. Something I'm going to use, but adapt to words, for my 7yo. (our copy won't need breaking down as much as theirs)

This link as well
www.autism.org.uk/about/strategies/visual-supports.aspx

I've not implemented it yet but I will be, may be worth a try?

Oh and urgh to the early wake up! We've really noticed the hour change this week normally we'd be too busy to notice it.

And if this lockdown continues for the next six months the clocks will change again 😭. We'll feel like we're in another dimension altogether!!!! Lol
Thank you for that I think I might try and utilise that idea. 😊

It's tough, I'm on week 3 of being at hone with a 3 and 4 yr old. Each day I write a list if what we will do the next day. It includes breakfast, walk, games, reading, tv , baking etc. They can choose what to put on. Then we cross them off as we do them. We don't always finish it but it gives a bit of purpose to the day and gives them options.

I don't really let them say no to going in the garden. I'd go mad and they're alright once out. Play hide and seek, use bubbles, football, water table, treasure hunt (hide small toys around the garden) chalks. Find a foower/leaf/twig/feather etc.

How are we today?

Yesterday was rubbish fore, just couldn't get motivated and felt teary all day.

Today has been better. I've used bribery to get youngest out for a walk, in the rain (although it wasn't raining when we set out!) We pass a Tesco Express on our route home so I said if he didn't moan and whinge, I'd buy him some donuts! It worked a treat.

No schoolwork completed but on our walk he was picking up wood pigeon feathers and was asking questions like "what are feathers made from" so I said we'll put on our plan for tomorrow a mini project about Wood Pigeons and we'll look up about feathers.

Then he asked me, randomly "if we didn't have the colour black would we all die?"

...... Answers on a postcard please.

Then he asked me if our brains worked with electricity and my answer was about impulses and reactions and finally.... We can put that on our list for another day and do a mini project about how our brain works.

Thank. God. For. Google.