Depressed

[chloexx1]

Hi Guys,

Im feeling really depressed about being a mum, I'm 24 now my daughter is 3. I'm a single parent and I just feel like everything about being a parent is depressing me feeling so regretful and there's nothing I can do about it. She's great it's just me. I just want to be alone. Her dad is useless so I do everything myself. Feeling crappy about how much my body has changed I don't have the body that I used to. And I'm single and it's just like when am I gonna meet someone right for me I'm feeling so depressed just feel like it would have been easier if I was by myself still just wish I could change everything

I'm sorry you're having a tough time and feeling down. I hope your parents or family can take your child to give you space sometimes. Or I'd say nursery but obviously with the pandemic that will be on hold. But get her in to nursery when things are back to normal for some space. I don't know your work or study situation but if you're in neither I would say work or studying is great for confidence building, social life, and keeping that identity which isn't just about being a mum.

Please don't let the low feelings deceive you though: you will meet someone. The problem won't be meeting someone, it's that other part about someone right for you. And sometimes that doesn't last either. I don't mean that in a sad way but in a, you know what, who knows who you will love in the future but you will always have you, and your child's love. Same for anyone, the older you get you see other perfect relationships falling apart and friends having new relationships. It happens to the majority. Don't feel bad about yourself.

Since you can depend on having you forever please spend it celebrating yourself. You need to control your thoughts to make them positive to feel positive. Don't let negative self talk take away your blessings. Congratulations on being a mum and well done for looking after your daughter. It is tough-going sometimes but it gets easier and the you will find yourself feeling very proud for accomplishing so much. If you are not content with your body then change it - cosmic yoga on YouTube is great. You can do it with your 3 year old. Basically doing yoga moves to tell a story like frozen. Only work on your body to make you feel good (men will want you regardless!).

If it feels more than this then you know you'll be offered help by GP.

Sending big hugs to a woman who can have it all. You can, please believe x

Hey, thanks for replying. My mum helps but she works full time and her other nan offers to help but I don't feel comfortable taking her that much don't feel like she looks after her well. Yeah she goes nursery but it's close because of everything going on rn. I'm a third year student due to graduate this year and I'm planning to do a masters or something but I just feel so out of touch with my age group. I have no social media and no desire to get it, and I rarely go out so I feel like how will I meet anyone.

Thank you, I guess you're right it'll happen in everyone's own time just feel like it would be easier if I didn't have a kid maybe.

Thank you for all the positive kind words! I started a 2 week shred challenge I found on YouTube and my daughter tries to join in. But my weight ain't really the problem it's my boobs, I had such lovely boobs and they just ain't perky no more it's worse cos none of my friends have kids with the best boobs it's just so depressing don't feel like exercise can do anything about that. Reluctant to do surgery but feel like there's no other way

I know it's a time after your studies but work will provide people from varying backgrounds that you might find connections better there... and probably a bloke. That's work for you!!! I never touched online dating and just found going to work provided plenty of opportunities. I also found my kid going to school opened up another social life.

If you're not happy with toning muscles via exercise or using uplifting bras then surgery is really up to you. Amazing breasts won't guarantee a happy life or a great guy though. Looking a certain way won't give you any of that. If you have seen all your pals topless I'd be surprised. They could be wearing padded bras for instance. I don't mean this in a mean way but lots of women don't look like 'goddesses' and they HAVEN'T had a kid but they also get into relationships and have happiness. Attraction is more than just looks it's chemistry and all sorts else. I hope you know you are more than your body.

And easier doesn't always mean happier. You could be childless and on this forum saying your unhappy and don't know why as have great boobs 😄 I have single childless friends who are very unhappy and I feel v sorry for them because the unhappiness is from not having kids. Their bodies? Well time has changed them anyway. It's all those moments they've never had which is very sad. Your daughter will get bigger and have lots to do with you and chat about and she will bring you a social life via school and her friends' parents.

Thanks so much honestly you've made me feel worlds better!! Just gonna keep pushing through I think this lockdown has effected my mood aswell. Sending you lots of love thanks so much xx