Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

CMS - would you claim?

17 replies

scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 17:12

Long story short. I have moved house with DS. His father has had No contact with him in months even after living close by. We had a regular private arrangement for child maintinence to go into the back which has been going fine for 12 months. As a result of him finding out we moved the maintinence didn't go into my bank on Friday. I contacted CMS today and they advised I contact him to negotiate. I did this and he is now saying he phoned them and as he isn't on the birth certificate he has got advice and said he is under no legal obligation to pay for DS . He also said if I go through CMS they will need a dna test. I know this is true about no legal obligation if not on the birth certificate but I'm surprised he is going to the lengths of wanting DNA. My guess is it's just to prolong the situation. Where should I go from here? He knows full well he is the dad and has paid for 1 year he is now being spiteful and taking things out on DS.

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 30/03/2020 17:29

get a DNA test done and go through cms

scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 18:13

Probably be best as this will most likely be a re occuring issue every month waiting to see if he decides to put it in the bank or not

OP posts:
ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 30/03/2020 18:29

Yes I would definitely push it through csa. If that means a dna test then it’s essentially a test to prove him wrong. Do it! You won’t regret it! X

timetest · 30/03/2020 18:31

Do the dna and arrange proper maintenance through cms.

BlueGheko · 30/03/2020 18:34

I know this is true about no legal obligation if not on the birth certificate

Actually that's not true. Paternity is assumed to be the person you name as the father in child maintenance cases. If he wants to deny paternity then he has to pay for a dna test and still liable for maintenence until he can prove otherwise.
Not being on a birth certificate is irrelevant, if you name him as the father he has a legal obligation to pay and will be pursued

scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 18:46

Thanks everyone and oh thanks @BlueGheko I didn't know that! X

OP posts:
nighttimetalk · 30/03/2020 18:47

As above is correct, start a case, he will have to pay for the dna test. If he isn't the father he will get the money back, if he is then he's paid. Don't listen to his bollocks x

unicornsarereal72 · 30/03/2020 18:50

Just go through the CSA. He is stalling fine. Let him. He will have to pay it back dated to when you started the claim. They can sort it moving forward and you don't have to get involved. Much easier for you.

scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 21:30

He told me earlier he needed to phone and speak to his lawyer to see if they tell him to pay this past months maintainence that he didn't put in the bank or not. Correct me if I'm wrong but would a lawyer even deal with that suddenly today over a phone? Or any day for that matter?. As far as I'm aware he never had a lawyer before as there has been no letters sent for contact or anything and I would have thought a lawyer would tells him to sort that kind of stuff out through CMS not give him advice on whether to pay maintenance he owes or not. Seems to me like he's going to tell me his 'lawyer" is saying don't pay anything because you aren't on the birth certificate so he can get out of paying what he owes. Sound like made up lies and threats to me.

OP posts:
scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 22:02

Bump

OP posts:
strawberrylipgloss · 30/03/2020 22:06

Lawyers can work over FaceTime or Skype and many will listen to whatever he says as time is money.

Totally agree with previous answers. Don't panic and go through official channels. It might take some time but once it's sorted, it's sorted permanently and you don't have the worry each month.

scunnered1 · 30/03/2020 22:10

Thank you @strawberrylipgloss . Yes I pray for when the day comes I don't have to have this stress. The trouble you have to go through to get some men to have to financially support their children eh!

OP posts:
nighttimetalk · 31/03/2020 16:19

Stop listening to his crap lol a lawyer is not going to advise him to not pay.

Go through cms, pay the £20 start a case and let them deal with it, let's see if his lawyer advises him then when they slap a deo on him for not paying.

Starlight456 · 01/04/2020 18:02

Can I add everyday you delay is another day you won’t get paid. It only starts from the day you claim.

HugeAckmansWife · 02/04/2020 09:36

Yes, claim immediately. Let him deal with the DNA thing and when it comes back positive he'll owe you from the moment you claimed. Do not take anything he says to you as true. Absolutely do not. Get your own independent advice, lots of good family solicitors on the legal board.

footballfanlife · 02/04/2020 13:14

Thanks everyone. It's terrible how some parents behave in this way. They dont deserve kids.

footballfanlife · 02/04/2020 13:17

Name changed btw as this could be outing

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.