Sharing the positives of single parenting

[1Micem0use]

Just that really!

At this time? Hmm... I have to say that I’m grateful exh is not around to eat all the food in the house because he cannot help himself when he is hungry (the bastard even used to have the baby jars When I wasn’t looking even when we were traveling)

The other clear advantage I can see at this point is that while everyone is struggling trying to work from home with kids around and with no help from their families, I am just coasting along, knowing even this will pass as I have been in this same boat so many times in the past. All calm at home (but I know we will struggle to get food if either of us falls ill)

Not a single parent anymore but it is nice to be able to parent your own way and your bond with your kids is super close

I don’t have any, I guess not having to share them with anyone. I could list a hundred negatives though

They can't play one parent off against the other. And as a single parent you do get all the shit bits, but you get ALL of the good bits too.

That being on lockdown is a single parent super-power - we've been doing this for years!

@OhamIreally, I agree. I hear all the people complaining about not being able to go out, having to work with a child climbing over you and having to eat, god forbid, different foods to the usual ones and I feel like rolling my eyes and splurging out, FFS, grow up, just get on with it until it passes! Then I remember how protected lives other people have and shut my mouth...

Making our own decisions feeling empowered, enjoying solitude etc.

I've finding it super-annoying listening to parents complaining that they are working and DH 'only' has them for a couple of hours etc, or DH gets the dinner on/does the housework/is doing all of the food shopping and they are STILL finding it tough.

The difficulties and super-human strength required of single parents always seems to be forgotten or underestimated. I am listening to friends/family with useless DHs telling me it's like having another child in the house..... except their additional child is still earning money and paying the bills.

I am irritated as I am self-employed and my work is drying up, so my income will be severely reduced over the foreseeable future.
I am a single mum with all of the worries that already entails so listening to couples complaining really gives me the rage!

On the plus side I am a great single mum, and am keeping on top of the house and the children as best as I can, I cannot imagine lockdown with my abusive ex.

Judging by how mad a lot of my Df's are being driven by their partners who are usually out working, just that really. Everything on my terms. Dc are fat less work than ex ever was

I'm a single mom to an almost 10yr old daughter whom I love and adore 😍 as we all naturally do.. her Disneyland dad has no emotional maturity but is super fun and easy going. He takes nothing seriously and will under no circumstances agree to co-parent with me. So it's each to his/her own. I'm happy for their relationship and bond but I feel like no matter what I do, & hard as I try.. I'm mostly oblivious and insignificant to her. It's like I'm around to serve her. I do my best for her whilst (trying to) keep the balance of power as parent in the rel.!! Even when it means (most of the time) I've got to be 'the bad cop'... Which is ok if it means doing what I need to as parent and mommy. My mistakes with her (spillovers from my own life) haunt me and ache, especially for her. I can't change the past but working each day to be mindful & present and less damaged by life getting to me..

However I don't know how to 'get thru to her' and bring out the best in us; break the power struggle & cycle of feeling used, manipulated and disregarded, disrespected, even tho I'm invested in her wellbeing and happiness with every fibre of my being. Does any of this make sense or am I rambling about my inner pain and confusion. I love my daughter, and I'm as good a parent I can conceivably be.. working everyday to be more of who she 'needs'.. but she doesn't seem to care about anyone /anything but her daddy and screen time. (He's a narcissist with
zero EQ :(
For me Discipline & boundaries don't come easily as I'm a free spirit but it's no secret everyone (esp) children need these. It's a tough world out there.. & our daughter is blessed with whatever most everything she needs and mostly wants...what I try exhibit and teach her doesn't seem to make any change in her growing mind.. worried, frustrated, hurting, unsure of myself and how to make the right 'difference' even if I'm the 'bad cop' in this case 😝 sorry for the lengthy vent!!! 🙏🏻😘 sending out love and light and protection, especially to all the precious little beings we are blessed with . 💖

The reason why children are 800% worse when their mum is around-

You are their safe place. You are their constant. You are their garbage disposal of all their unpleasant feelings and emotions. You are a big deal.

I'm not anymore but doing exactly what you want when you want is bliss

There are certainly advantages to being a single parent. Or even just single. It isn't on that women/society either judges or pities us. They should take a leaf from our book and learn that it is very empowering and freeing no longer relying on a man to give us happiness. Especially as they don't do this anyway. As Germaine Greer states a man is about as useful as a fish to a bicycle....!

It's mostly great until you are unwell. Do a backup adult somewhere is a good go to if you can find one. I was widowed and brought my kids up for 10 years in my own before meeting DH and marrying . I sometimes miss having the final day on stuff.

*say not day

ohamireally is spot on. Single parents are made of tough stuff

Being able to take a decision without constant interference from in-laws is bliss.

Ds now has a calm routine home life without the amateur dramatics. He doesn’t see his father drunk. I can encourage homework to be done without being undermined. Ds isn’t used as a performing monkey by his dad’s family.

We have drama.

But it's my drama and it's on my terms.

The bond with my DD. We’re best friends as well as mother and daughter.

It’s perfect

Love it. Love my life. Full control over every aspect of it.Hairy armpits rule!

Girls have never lived with another adult. They are so secure, happy in themselves and their own skin. Both girls are seeing Mummy tackling everything and winning. I can depend on myself 100%. They are both emotionally intelligent, verbalising their emotions - as I have to

I find single parenting so much easier now d's is 15.I really enjoy more me time and can take care of myself better. It is just corona affecting my income temporarily. Plus d's cannot visit his dad,s family for now as they are 100 miles away.So I am missing my week to myself every three months which I usually get.

It's brilliant, lovely company, freedom and independence to do it our way.

There are so many advantages to single parenting there really area. It is owing to a mysognistic society that single parents get a bad press. As we aren't supposed to render men superfluous. It isn't our fault if our exes turned out to be violent/toxic/abusive/addictions/affairs whatever the reasons were it was rarely our doing. Very rarely.

I get sick of the pity out there. Who on earth wants to be pitied! It is also assuming we cannot possibly cope on our own and that we are not remotely adequate as parents as people in society are often looking for evidence that we are less than a 'proper' family and our children are going to be affected in a negative way.

If anything my ds gets more attention as I not only have raised him alone since 5 months and he is now 15 but I haven't bothered with getting into a new relationship. I see no advantages to achieving one and am perfectly content single. Relieved even! The more I stay single the more I enjoy it and really relish it.

No in-laws!!! You don’t have to share holidays/occasions.
My mum was a single parent and so are both of my sisters. I’m married so have to find some sort of compromise for Christmas. I’m heartbroken that my whole family will be have Christmases without me and my son.

Definitely not easy and i can really really relate to one of the replies about couples complaining about what the other one didn't do rather than seeing all that they have done to help/support... which they take for granted.
I think you realise what you are capable of when there isn't anyone else to rely on and it has to be you. I have a DS who is 10 and we are super close. We have no contact with his dad and to be honest it doesn't bother me...maybe in the future they'll get to know each other but until its what my DS wants i won't be contacting him. I'll happily keep our lives as they are, we're also super close with my family and friends of my DS are in and out of our place all the time which helps too!

learning how strong you can be as a human being. being self reliant. being accountable only to you and your dc. freedom in decision making. choosing anything and doing it on your own - not waiting for anyone else to help or to do their bit. peace and quiet!