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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Can baby's dad still visit?

20 replies

BlessMeDarkFather · 27/03/2020 08:03

Hi there sorry another one of these...
My baby's dad comes to visit him most days he only lives up the road and we are on good terms. Is he still able to come and see his child as I know children can move from parents houses but baby doesn't stay at his. Hope that makes sense thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2020 10:29

As long as he is socially distancing (working from home, not going out etc.) then it is fine for him to visit just you and the baby.

If he is going to work then you have to weigh up the risks to you and the baby.

I think it is very important for him to see the baby though. Months apart is going to be very detrimental to their relationship.

TeacupDrama · 27/03/2020 10:30

yes this is explicitly allowed there is no real difference between father coming to baby and baby going to father in terms of risk

provided neither of you have symptoms

AmelieTaylor · 27/03/2020 10:32

Technically I would think not, & it appears low risk if he’s socially isolating & not going to work. However, everyone doing all of these little things is what will stop the lockdown being as effective as it could be. Every little exchange allows the virus to move about.

Is it totally out if the question for him to move in during this period?

NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2020 10:54

What's the difference between him moving in and visiting from his house up the road?? There is no sense in that at all.

(I'm assuming he lives alone btw. If he doesn't then it is different).

AmelieTaylor · 27/03/2020 12:30

Because they will be shopping as unit, doing other things as a unit not two units coming & going. Plus whoever he lives with.

NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2020 12:39

Presumably she could ask him to get her some shopping without them needing to live together? They don't need to be doing anything else either seperate or as a unit becuase they should be at home (apart from a daily walk).

carly2803 · 27/03/2020 13:05

i would not.

for a few weeks (the peak is said to be easter now)!, i would keep apart, especially if he is working?
if yoru working, hes working, your potentially infecting 2 households instead of 1

just my opinion!

carly2803 · 27/03/2020 13:05

i would not.

for a few weeks (the peak is said to be easter now)!, i would keep apart, especially if he is working?
if yoru working, hes working, your potentially infecting 2 households instead of 1

just my opinion!

BuzzingButterfly · 27/03/2020 13:47

Youngest DS’s dad visited him last night. He’s furloughed atm, has been socially distancing, isn’t going round the supermarkets etc. We’re doing the same, staying home and staying well clear of other people. DS can’t visit at his as he’s in a bedsit, no where for him to sleep/play etc. He stayed away for almost two weeks then phoned me up telling me he couldn’t take being apart from DS and could he please come see him, didn’t see any reason not to let him.

Children of separated parents are still allowed to move between homes, there is no reason to cause mental distress to children or parents by refusing contact if everyone is following the social distancing rules - if we get sick it stays confined to our household or his and the only way we’d get sick is if the delivery people were sick and coughed over something right before handing it to us (or leaving it on the doorstep as the case is now).

DangerMouse17 · 27/03/2020 13:52

The point is you dont know who has it. The dad may be carrying it already. So no, is the proper answer. I don't understand why people cant seem to get it through their heads.

Original poster

BlessMeDarkFather · 27/03/2020 13:57

Thank you all for replying, as it is I'm currently on mat leave and he is not in work o would just have him stay so neither of us have to leave unless it's for essentials but I'm currently on UC so he cannot as it's against the rules and I don't want to commit benefit fraud iyswim
I just don't want my child to miss out seeing his dad but if he has to then I guess that's what we will have to do

OP posts:

NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2020 13:59

But a dad who lives with his children might already have it and bring it home.

You're not suggesting that all children only be allowed access to one of their parents are you?! That's not the current guidelines. Contact with both parents, wherever possible, is still being deemed essential contact.

BuzzingButterfly · 27/03/2020 14:29

@BlessMeDarkFather current government guidelines is children from separated parents can still see both parents. You do not need to withhold contact

shinynewapple2020 · 27/03/2020 14:36

So he is your current partner but you live separately, alone apart from your DC and neither of you are currently working? Under these circumstances I don't see why not, do you have plans to move in together in future?

Original poster

BlessMeDarkFather · 27/03/2020 14:49

No we are not together, he is my ex but we still get on for the sake of co parenting, no plans what so ever to move in or get back together in the future. Both of us are practicing social distancing

OP posts:

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/03/2020 14:54

Could he collect baby from you and take him for a walk in a sling / pushchair? That would seem to be within current guidelines (that you can take a daily walk and children can move between parents).

Tootletum · 27/03/2020 14:57

It's permitted to move children between parents. No logical difference if he happens to visit. Can't imagine you getting in trouble. The legislation was explicit on the point about children's emotional well-being.

strawberrylipgloss · 27/03/2020 15:04

Does he live alone?

Original poster

BlessMeDarkFather · 27/03/2020 15:22

Sadly no he's with family who are still working

OP posts:

NoNeedToBeRudeDear · 27/03/2020 19:55

I’ve told my ex DH he can’t visit our twins!
He works in a care home and has told me staff keep coming into work coughing etc.

There’s absolutely NO way I am risking my toddlers health like that.

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