Covid 19 and sharing custody?

[november90]

Me and my husband are separated and he has our little boy over night once and then a couple afternoons during the week. I'm also 33 weeks pregnant.

Does anyone know what happens with shared custody in a lockdown situation? Surely it can't be right to have him bouncing between households, but then he also can't not see his daddy for potentially months! Also concerned that He won't even be able to see the baby! This is all so uncertain and I'm feeling really stressed about it!

He also works in a children's home so he has much more exposure to this virus. I am so worried and I can't really talk to him about it as he's so dismissive about the serverity of it!

Unfortunately it's the way it is. Kid stays in one household and facetime for the other parent.

It's shit but it's important.

but then he also can't not see his daddy for potentially months!

Better than him or others not seeing their loved ones ever again. Keep him at home and use Skype/FaceTime/some social media app

I don't know I'm afraid, but I'm in a similar situation. Ex and I share custody 50/50. We only live a couple of minutes drive apart, and have the children 3-4 days at a time, so I think we'd be able to carry that on without breaking social distancing. Of course, if either household showed symptoms, we'd both have to isolate because we'd both be potentially contagious.

My concern is that he just isn't taking it seriously. He took the girls to Tesco over the weekend, and they have a sleep over planned for next week, with his girlfriend and her two kids. His girlfriend is front line NHS, so even higher risk. He's very dismissive if I try to raise the subject, so sorting it out should be fun

Mangobiscuit I’m in the same position. He won’t have a discussion about it. I suppose I see is a split household rather than two households but he is still visiting his girlfriend!

We are carrying on as normal BUT we are both distancing properly, not seeing anyone else, and accept that if someone gets symptoms the kids will have to stay in one house for the duration of isolation.

If you don't have trust then think about what is right for health and risk of contagion.

My ex would go crazy at me if I suggested that the boys stay with me. He just doesn't think about the risks like I do! Do I take these measures now or if and when we go into lockdown?
He walked out in my when I was 24 weeks pregnant and has just made everything so difficult for me. :(

Surely it can't be right to have him bouncing between households

Whats wrong with sticking to the current schedule at least? Is that what you are doing, bouncing him between houses?

In an enforced lockdown situation, the 2 houses become the family dynamic.

Well I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, I'm just unsure what others are doing and and that's why I made the thread!
The last thing I want is to have them separated for weeks... But I just don't know what is the best thing to do in these situations! Ex also works in a vulnerable children's home and is a key worker. Such a worrying time.

I won't be handing my child over during lockdown. Lockdown is lockdown. Yes it's an awful situation that the child won't see their other parent but it's the safest option. If we go full lockdown like Italy/Spain the decision will be taken out your hands

Yeah I think I would need to do the same. When we are in full lock down he will stay with me all the time, it's his way interests that come first!

Unfortunately it's the way it has to be for now. You are doing the right thing in keeping him with you. Facetime, photos, depending on age a diary of what he has been up to indoors etc. It's not ideal, but DH is away for a few months with work and is often away and he misses a lot, but needs must.

@Newtothis213 according to the another thread, Spain allows transport of children between co-parents as an exception to lockdown.

Not sure what scenario is here. Likelihood is it hasn’t even occurred to the Government!

Latest see the footnote at the bottom of guidance
www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

Travel between parent acceptable during lockdown

It may be "acceptable" but it is bloody stupid. The Great British Public has already proved that they can't be trusted to do what's best.

Urgh it doesn't make sense does it. My ex is currently living with his parents who are also still working with vulnerable people as does my ex. He's heartbroken to not see our son but with this advice it's suggesting he can continue but it just doesn't make sense. What's the point in the rest of us taking these measures if our children are moving about?
I'm wondering if suggesting he takes our son out for his exercise walk on his days off so they still have contact but are outdoors?

Yes @november90 it is very confusing with that added guidance. My child’s father comes to my home to see her, he still lives with numerous members of his family and all are still working, he will be putting me and dd at risk every time he visits, I have no idea what to do.

It's X months out of a lifetime. There is still Skype/FaceTime for bedtime stories or whatever.

The SmallDragons are 14 and up now. They won't be going to their father.

The problem starts when Parent A works with vulnerable adults. Parent B is a "front-line" Doctor. Child C is Typhoid Mary travelling between the two. A sensible person would see this problem and make arrangements for virtual contact. The kind of person who skipped happily off to the pub the night before they shut or went to a crowded, busy park at the weekend will not.

I think any sensible parent would see the risk of going between house to house and stick to staying in one household. Yes the other parent will miss their child but surely the most important thing is that the child remains healthy until all this has cleared

If we go full lockdown like Italy/Spain

Spain and France and Belgium have made an exception for children travellling between the homes of seperated parents.

The UK have done the same.

A family dynamic can include 2 houses and i no differnt to a family of 4 in the same house.

Any paraent who chooses to ignore this particular Government guidance and yet follow others obviously has an agenda.

A family dynamic can include 2 houses and i no differnt to a family of 4 in the same house.

Of course it is.

So, you have two separated parents with 2 children. Each parent has a second family with two children. Their new partner has two children with their ex...

@3xcookedchips you're spot on. I have an agenda - to keep my child safe!!!!

The Government are saying that they will allow children to move between homes but its not a risk I'm willing to take. Nor is my childs father.

Perhaps you've not seen the devastation that comes with this virus. The best thing we can do is limit contact for a short length of time so that everyone is around to see their children grow up.

agree with newtothis 100%. One household is best in my opinion and that’s what we are doing.

We are moving between two. Neither of us have other children and exH is single. I have my DH here but we talked about all moving into one house and then realised it made sense just to stay as we are.

The government have given guidance on this and made it clear the children can travel between households in these circumstances. Whether you chose to follow the guidance is up to you. As previous posters have pointed out lots of people are not following government guidance....