I am back again for some more advice please. I have posted several times now asking for advice concerning my 12 year old son who is soon to be 13. My Son is now living with me full time as his mother started a relationship with a drug addict & moved him in. My son took an instant dislike to him. Social services had an anonymous report regarding my son’s wellbeing at which point I started having my son stay with me more & more importantly this is what my son wanted. His stuff started going missing, there were drug dealers going to the house & his mum was trying to emotionally blackmail him to stay at hers more for what I now believe was for financial reasons. It was a total mess what happened. His mum tried to get my son to like this guy & to hug him. I was originally told that the boyfriend was on a methadone treatment plan & I then found out he had been admitted to hospital after smoking crack cocaine & he admitted to smoking it every day as well as Heroin. His mum also told her elder Daughter that he did smoke crack but not in the house. All the conversations I had with his mum was full of lies & how she was so hard done by & nothing was her fault but everyone else’s. It was a really stressful end to last year for everyone concerned.
I am now been told by her family that she is also on drugs, has been seen begging & to keep my Son away from her house. My son doesn’t want anything to do with her & blocked her number a couple of months ago. He has not seen his mum since Christmas Eve & has not spoken to her in about 2 months since he blocked her number. She has my house phone number & mobile, but she hasn’t tried contacting me. She has an older Daughter who also hasn’t heard anything from her in a while & the last thing she heard was that her mum had told a family member that she just wants to be left alone with her boyfriend.
I arranged to see my doctor a couple of weeks ago to see if he thought my son could benefit from counselling. He gave me 2 organisations who I have contacted & one has accepted my Son & I am waiting for the first assessment. My son is generally doing good. He has just had 100% attendance at school over the last term which is amazing as it used to be down in the 80% range. He rarely speaks about his mum & as I say he appears to be dealing with things ok, but I would like him to talk to someone more qualified than me. I do sit down regularly with him & talk about how he currently feels & reminding him that what has happened has nothing to do with, he didn’t cause any of it.
The reason I am posting is because I have realised Mothers day is coming up & I am not sure how to deal with this as I think it maybe a difficult time for him. Someone at work has suggested that maybe ask him if he wants to send his mum a Mother’s day card. Personally, I don’t this would be a good idea. Things are good as they are & I think if he did this it might push her into communicating with him & until she is clean, I don’t this would be in his best interest.
Should I at least ask him if he would like to? However, knowing my son the danger in doing this would be that he would then feel guilty if he didn’t.
I have no idea what to do for the best?